dugg Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 (edited) KRUSTIES NEW JERSEY AUCTION HOUSE PRESENTS in conjunction with SHUTTERED DREAMS STORAGE LOCKERS: sunday sept 21st:award-seeking semi-retired dancer,actor,singer,waiter sebastienne st. jacque is auctioning off some of his personal dance attire from his career-ending collection. for your consideration; 22 gently worn pashmina unitard's with reinforced seats and extra absorbent double egyptian cotton crotch panels. 26 super-support "never flail" dance belts complete with removable "enchancer" kevlar cup. this "once in a while" sale also includes: sebastienne's treasure trove of high-fashion leg-warmers and matching headbands that may or may not have been pilfered from olivia-newton john's dressing room during the filming of XANADU. also available and every guard mom's dream sebastienne's sleeveless "flashdance inspired" spirit sweatshirts handmade,lavishly bedazzled and embellished with day-glow puff paint. sebastienne's signed and numbered limited edition of 8x10 glossy portraits of himself [who else?] by famed photographers robert maplesyrup & annie manischewitz [all heavily re-touched in post production by ILM industrial light and magic]. mon sept 22nd;the bidding starts at 10 a.m. for the historic rhytmic gymnastic ribbon once stolen by given to sebastienne,allegedly once used by famous russian gymnast IDA NEVASAYNEVA to escape from her communist oppressors.by lowering herself from the 3rd floor government run training facility via the tattered silk ribbon she managed to elude the evil K.G.B. and their vicious attack dogs by pirouetting through a turnip field chock-full of deadly explosive landmines. tues;final day of this monumental event:sebastienne's entire collection of over 3,000 "participation" awards will be sold as scrap or given to anyone with a truck and or garbage bag big enough to haul them away. sebastienne st. jacque is available for show consultaion,bar mitzva's as well as breakfast,lunch and dinner and can be reached at "flushing downs senior villiage" for aging color guard performers. Edited September 22, 2008 by dugg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jak Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Warning: those pashmina unitards might be a little itchy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugg Posted September 7, 2008 Author Share Posted September 7, 2008 (edited) itchy and b&%$hy! i've known sebastienne for several years,we first met when he produced,directed,choreographed,re-wrote and starred in a joliet prison production of "cat on a hot tin roof" where he insisted on playing both the brick and maggie roles. for bookings,dinner shifts at fridays and tour info you can reach sebastienne through his life partner,personal assistant and tantric yoga instructor hazelton ford or you could try his pharmacist dolce levitra. Edited September 8, 2008 by dugg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jak Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I tried to hire Sebastienne last winter to do our choreography, but he was far too expensive. When we refused to pay his exorbitant fees, he and Hazelton put a curse on our equipment, causing us to drop everything we released. He's a bitter old queen. Such a shame... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugg Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 (edited) bitter indeed,bitter at being snubbed by the wgi community who boo-ed and recoiled in horror at his guard "convalescence" and their "tribute" to the katrina victims performed to "ole man river".after that he vowed he would never return,however wgi and their lawyers wanted it in writing! as for his out of control billing rates it's a well known fact that sebastienne has a raging "franklin mint" addiction and severe dependancy on QVC,diet fresca and xanax! Edited September 9, 2008 by dugg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBrancheau Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Ewww...who'd want used dancebelts! Yikes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guardguy89 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Ewww...who'd want used dancebelts!Yikes! Old beltless dancers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugg Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 (edited) sebastienne st. jacque will be trial judging this year in the movement caption,having attended the wgi judging academy a staggering 9 times and thrown out twice.once for an unpleasant hair-pulling incident with kristin o'melia after she attempted to ###### the last cheese danish in the judges hospitality room and again for passing out under the bleachers during a local circuit show! Edited September 11, 2008 by dugg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBrancheau Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Ya gotta give props to Sebastienne for tenacity! Attending WGI judging academy 9 times...and coming back after getting thrown out twice...that's some stick-to-it-iveness! I'd probably pull Kristin's hair too, but only if she'd taken the cherry danish. She can have the cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
campdenver Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 sebastienne st. jacque will be trial judging this year in the movement caption,having attended the wgi judging academy a staggering 9 times and thrown out twice.once for an unpleasant hair-pulling incident with kristin o'melia after she attempted to ###### the last cheese danish in the judges hospitality room and again for passing out under the bleachers during a local circuit show! I'm surprised the judging queen herself (ie: Shirlee Whitcomb) didn't sit those two in opposite corners of UD Arena and make them sit there until they could hug each other. My, my....where is Shirlee when we need her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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