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Should my 14 year-old march


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IMO, altho I never had the chance to march in a drum corps - only agree to let him do it IF YOU and YOUR WIFE go to the rest of the music camps to watch, observe and, in some way, volunteer. You will never know what it is really like unless you spend as much time as you can at a camp and ACTIVELY participate yourself!

...and do us all a favor. IF you let him go, AND you/wife also go to observe/participate, DON'T HOVER AROUND THE KID!!!! I see this with the younger people who tryout with my local drum corps. The parents want to be sure this is the right thing for their kid to do, so they try to stay within arms length of the kid throughout the whole camp. DON'T DO THAT! Observe, volunteer, and enjoy, but be invisible and let your kid see if he fits into the rest of the corp group. It will be obvious if he doesn't - I've seen it happen way too often.......but give him a chance!

I would add...volunteering as a parent is a very great idea and almost every corps out there can use more volunteer help. That said...a very sound piece of advice was given to my wife and I when we started volunteering for a drum corps...it's a very simple concept. They are all your kids, now. You are not just there for your kid. You know the parent type I'm talking about. Little Johnny needs an orange in the afternoon so the parent takes out the little ziplock bag of peeled orange segments for little Johnny.

In drum corps...if Johnny gets orange segments, the entire corps gets orange segments and that's because it's a scheduled snack break. Little Johnny cannot be your precious little snowflake and be a productive member of a drum corps simultaneously. Save the orange segments in their special little ziplock bag for autumn, when Johnny is yours again.

NOTE....this is a broad generalization and in now way implies you...or your wife are ..."these kinds of parents." But, when you have 100-150 kids in corps, you are bound to have a few "hovering orange segment peelers" among them.

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Why find offense to openly discussing *the entire truth* as to concerns about a 14 year-old being involved in a 21 year-old environment? Unless, of course, you support the drum corps activity so much that being publicly obtuse is actually acceptable?

I would rather not get into the details of people showering in the same area. Its just plan nasty to talk about... and don't put words in my mouth. All I simply said was I think that's something you should PM the father about.

More or less I refuse to post my feelings on this subject on a public forum... if you wish to continue our little argument here please send me a PM and I will address myself a little further... have a nice day

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The question you should ask is really this: Should my 14 year-old shower with 21 year-olds?

I also dont want to get into this subject either but seems to me there are less 14 year olds with 21 yeard olds then in the past. I was an 8 year old with teenagers as well as 21 year olds...So there was more of this back in the day than now.

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No one on this forum knows your child, his level of maturity, and his ability to cope with new and challenging situations better than you. I'm afraid you won't find your answer on here!

That said, your son won't encounter much in drum corps that he won't encounter in high school. It's just a little more concentrated, and he might face these things alone rather than with a group of close friends (though by the end of the summer he would have another group of close friends). And I don't know some of the posters are harping so much on 21 year-olds. 18 year-olds can be much, much "worse", and your son will be encountering plenty of them in high school . . . and in a lower-tier World Class corps the average age tends to be 18 or less.

Take your wife to meet with the corps admins. Volunteer at the next camp. Have her see what corps life is like, and then make a decision (although it would have been better to come to one before you let your kid go to a camp). There's no clear-cut right or wrong answer here.

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I would rather not get into the details of people showering in the same area. Its just plan nasty to talk about... a

I also dont want to get into this subject either..

No details were mentioned, and no accusations were presented; and false accusations need to be treated harshly!!! But keeping this particular subject under raps, something that is considered tabu and not discussed in a public forum, creates an obtuse environment which then leads to real problems like what happened at Penn State going unchecked for many, many, years.

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No details were mentioned, and no accusations were presented; and false accusations need to be treated harshly!!! But keeping this particular subject under raps, something that is considered tabu and not discussed in a public forum, creates an obtuse environment which then leads to real problems like what happened at Penn State going unchecked for many, many, years.

youn copied my line ( 1 line ) but can see I addressed my opinion

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youn copied my line ( 1 line ) but can see I addressed my opinion

Ok, you also stated that, "...but seems to me there are less 14 year olds with 21 yeard olds then in the past. I was an 8 year old with teenagers as well as 21 year olds...So there was more of this back in the day than now."

Does not matter if there are less corps today; there are still many ethical and legal issues to consider with any 14-year old being in very close quarters within such a setting (that you want to keep tabu) alongside 21 year-old adults.

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Ok, you also stated that, "...but seems to me there are less 14 year olds with 21 yeard olds then in the past. I was an 8 year old with teenagers as well as 21 year olds...So there was more of this back in the day than now."

Does not matter if there are less corps today; there are still many ethical and legal issues to consider with any 14-year old being in very close quarters within such a setting (that you want to keep tabu) alongside 21 year-old adults.

I think what she meant is that corps tend to be segregated more in terms of age than they once were. You have top tier corps made up of mostly college aged kids that would balk at offering a spot to a 14 year old, and you have corps in the lower tier of World Class with average ages under 18.

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Ok, you also stated that, "...but seems to me there are less 14 year olds with 21 yeard olds then in the past. I was an 8 year old with teenagers as well as 21 year olds...So there was more of this back in the day than now."

Does not matter if there are less corps today; there are still many ethical and legal issues to consider with any 14-year old being in very close quarters within such a setting (that you want to keep tabu) alongside 21 year-old adults.

Here's the simple legal issue. Did the corps...acting "in loco parentis" create an environment where something illegal occurred between an adult and a child.

For instance....let's say a staff member...and I'll take this out of the sex arena for a moment...was caught smoking marijuana out behind a school with a 16 year old corps member.

1. Both would be charged with possession charges.

2. The staff member would be charged with contributing.

3. The corps would no doubt dismiss the staff member and provided they did all the necessary background work and showed reasonable due diligence, would be able to successfully defend their actions should the courts get involved.

Now, that's because the staff person was checked out. As far as I know, students in drum corps go through no background check. So, let's say we have a 19 year old corps member and a 15 year old corps member taking showers or sharing sleeping bags, etc. The question that's going to come up is...did the corps do their reasonable due diligence in preventing this activity from occurring...and in most cases, the corps is deeply at risk here.

Accomodations for a minor in a corps would involve separating all members of adult status away from members who are still minors. Also, never pairing adults with minors as seat partners, etc. Finally, a separate shower time or location for minors/adults may need to be accomodated to show evidence of due diligence when accting "in loc parentis."

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I think what she meant is that corps tend to be segregated more in terms of age than they once were. You have top tier corps made up of mostly college aged kids that would balk at offering a spot to a 14 year old, and you have corps in the lower tier of World Class with average ages under 18.

exactly :smile:

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