MikeD Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Take three normal looking guys (one is a pervert, one is a gay guy that has no interest, one is just some average dude) ... Sounds like the start of a joke! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Henson Posted April 19, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2013 I'm one of those scary gay guys in the showers. Dealt with the very same discussions when I was working to overthrow Don't Ask, Don't Tell (I was in the Navy for a decade - submarines, which I imagine is a bit like being a Scout.) Here's what the straight guys miss about the shower issue. There's two things: 1. The gay guy is usually totally afraid of the perception that he's some sort of perv. Wanna find the gay guy in the shower? It's probably the dude with his eyes closed, or looking everywhere possible but the other dudes in the room. My suspicion is that this is probably less true for the current generation, but speaking for myself I would have been incredibly mortified if someone ever got the impression I was leering at them. 2. It is a highly unusual thing for a straight dude to be in a women's shower. It is a source of fantasy, it is forbidden fruit, and it titillates and excites. Gay guys, on the other hand - there's no mystery for us when it comes to locker rooms and showers full of men. We kinda know what peen looks like, ya'know? We've been there our whole lives, in changing rooms, toilets, showers, locker rooms, etc. It's not some forbidden, taboo thing that causes sexual excitement. It's not unusual at all. We're used to it. It's just not the turn-on you assume it would be. Think of it this way, straight guys. If you spent your whole life around naked sisters and (female) cousins and teammates in the changing rooms, would it titillate and excite, or would it lose its mystery pretty quick? My experience with human nature and teaching makes me strongly suspect the latter. Is drum corps ahead of the curve on this? Yeah. Way ahead. And you'd be shocked by just how many gay guys there are in this activity. To me the question isn't "is it well accepted?" It's "what the hell is the percentage?" That number is easily double-digits, for members and staff. The rarity of hearing about problems associated with this make me feel that, well, it just ain't a problem. We're smarter than the guys who use a marching field to play football. 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeD Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Line I have an issue with is: "Just because you're a dude and there's a gay dude in the locker room with you doesn't mean that person wants to jump your bones!" which I do not believe. But that doesn't rule out getting looked over while in the shower. Or at least the fear of getting checked out. C'mon (hetro) guys.. we check out the women when we get the chance. And if we were all in a co-ed shower do you think some of the guys wouldn't have problems keeping their eyes off a nice looking female. So what would be the difference between hetro in the co-ed shower and gay in the same sex shower? And how much more alike can ya get? Assuming that does happen...HOW would you know, and why would you care? In my case, I'd know, because the person would probably start to laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) I think that comes from a straight guy's perspective when they know what they are thinking about the hot girls they see and just assuming it would be the same for a gay guy looking at them. :thumbup:/>/> That's the thought I had.. and for reference Mike and I are pretty close in age..... Stray thought from a few years ago that might fit here. At a get together and someone who has a problem with homosexuality (among other things) started bugging me about spending time with one lesbian friend. After a few minutes of this crap (and a few cold ones) I hear: "Do you two have anythign in common?" My response: "Yeah.. we both think her girlfriend is cute.." Well it was true (still is) and had peace rest of the night. To put it as neutral as possible: I believe most of us would look at an attractive member of whatever sex attracts us. Don't have to have something nasty on our minds just the realization that the view is nice. And you don't have to be staring with your mouth hanging open, a quick glace counts and he/she wouldn't even know. Edited April 19, 2013 by JimF-LowBari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) Assuming that does happen...HOW would you know, and why would you care? In my case, I'd know, because the person would probably start to laugh! Personally don't know, don't care and highly doubt it would be directed my way (hence the 'retching' post ). But to go with the above posts, I believe checking out others does go on in some circumtances (just not me.... ). Edited April 19, 2013 by JimF-LowBari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamMan Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 The one way it was described to me was: picture yourself in this scenario,.......your a straight guy heading to the locker/shower room of your housing sight..........would you be allowed to head into the girls showers?,...........I think not,..........so in turn, should someone that is homosexual be allowed into the showers with members of the same sex? Why does it matter if someone is sexually attracted to the same sex? Line I have an issue with is: "Just because you're a dude and there's a gay dude in the locker room with you doesn't mean that person wants to jump your bones!" which I do not believe. But that doesn't rule out getting looked over while in the shower. Or at least the fear of getting checked out. C'mon (hetro) guys.. we check out the women when we get the chance. And if we were all in a co-ed shower do you think some of the guys wouldn't have problems keeping their eyes off a nice looking female. So what would be the difference between hetro in the co-ed shower and gay in the same sex shower? And how much more alike can ya get? "Or at least the fear of getting checked out." The fear of getting checked out? The FEAR? I'm being completely honest here, but, deep down inside, you're not secure in your sexuality. It's ok. This is normal. It's actually extremely common. In layman's terms, the ones who are loudest against the gay lifestyle are the ones who aren't secure and are sometimes gay themselves. 100%. Every time. It's human psychology. Look it up. Accept it. Relax. You don't have to shout down the gays to prove to people you aren't gay (though you may be, deep down). Just live and let live. "So what would be the difference between hetro in the co-ed shower and gay in the same sex shower? And how much more alike can ya get?" You just don't get it and I don't think anyone can explain that to you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnZ Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 careful folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lincoln Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) careful folks. I see nothing wrong with this post. The perspectives are really interesting. Edited April 19, 2013 by LincolnV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie1223 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) Line I have an issue with is: "Just because you're a dude and there's a gay dude in the locker room with you doesn't mean that person wants to jump your bones!" which I do not believe. But that doesn't rule out getting looked over while in the shower. Or at least the fear of getting checked out. C'mon (hetro) guys.. we check out the women when we get the chance. And if we were all in a co-ed shower do you think some of the guys wouldn't have problems keeping their eyes off a nice looking female. So what would be the difference between hetro in the co-ed shower and gay in the same sex shower? And how much more alike can ya get? If you do not believe that "just because you're a dude and there's a gay dude in the locker room with you doesn't mean that person wants to jump your bones" then lets imagine for a second this scenario..... There's a gay dude in the shower and George Hopkins walks in... is George Hopkins such an irresistible sex magnet that every gay man wants to jump his bones? :D (I kid George Hopkins but I needed to make this relate to Drum Corps!) The issue is not that you think Gays would look at a straight guy. It's that you assumed that a gay guy want to look at EVERY dude in the shower. I mean, yeah there are a lot of sexy guys in drum corps but honestly, a gay guy doesn't want to look at all of them if he even wants to look at ANY of them! That's the perceived "ignorant" part that's getting you downvotes in the this post regardless if its your actual intention. Because you, as a straight guy, wouldn't want to actively look at every god #### naked chick on the planet and neither would a gay man for men. Edited April 19, 2013 by charlie1223 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreaminMello Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 I have always said Drum Corps is ahead of social norms. It didn't matter your race, sex or sexual orientation etc as long as you could drum, twirl or play! As far as showers etc.... I think everyone was too hot, sticky, nasty and tired to worry too much about things like that. We changed on busses etc at show sites, and they were coed busses, and we weren't too concerned with anyone "checking us out". Also BITD homosexuality was not out in the open, I know I was pretty naive on that topic and didn't really concern myself with that issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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