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Tobias

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1) Processed meats are loaded with Santa (and nitrates).

2) Santa doesn't exist

3) Therefore, by definition, there can't be processed meats.

Bon Appetit !!!

I meant salt not Santa. Santa does exist. Cadets did a Christmas show so there it is.

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There already is an off topic forum here on DCP.

I envision you sitting at your $2,600 MacBook Pro sniffing the farts in your wine glass. Get off our buzz!

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Purple? PURPLE?? I fell off my bicycle, and my entire left arm turned purple. My doc told me it was a hematoma, and it would go away on its own. It just wouldn't, so I went back. His manner wasn't very bedsidey and gruffly asked if I'd like him to drain it. I hate needles; I can't sew very well and jammed the $%#@'ing thing into my thumb. Remember the purple thumbs from the iraqi peoples' fledgling democratic vote? I can't get my friends to register to vote, yet they constantly pitch and moan about the current state of things. "Our Favorite Things" was one of the Cadets' least inspired show ideas from that staff. Ooh, if I had a son, I'd name him Staff, because I've never heard of an English person named that. Are they ever going to officially change the name of the English Horn, as it's neither English nor a Horn? How about Oboon? Obone works, but High School kids would snicker every time the Band Director said, "We need more, Obone." That sounds like Shakespearean porn. Did you know that Judi Dench won the Oscar in Shakespeare in Love for being onscreen for 8 minutes? That's why they created the award in 1936. I don't like Leonardo DiCaprio per se, but he was robbed of a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for What's Eating Gilbert Grape. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "BREATHE!" Get it? It had turned purple. "Breathe..."

Carolina Crown's purple pants.

Best post ever

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I meant salt not Santa. Santa does exist. Cadets did a Christmas show so there it is.

Don't recall seeing him in their show, not even Rudolph for that matter.

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Don't recall seeing him in their show, not even Rudolph for that matter.

He wrote the drill.

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Or one of my creations...Pastrami and Pepperjack Quiche. Definitely a brunch quiche -- not breakfast.

I had quiche once before I learned real men don't eat it. I assume you are a man because you have a photo of Rasputin by your name and he was a real man who was close friends with the Tsar's wife named Alexandra. They were Russian hey didn't Madison do a Russian show in 2000? although personally I liked Cavies Russian Sailors Dance from the 70's Ironic that both corps are all male - speaking of mail DCI used to send me Contest Guild in the mail.

Edited by IllianaLancerContra

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[EDIT]: Oops

Edited by yutsi

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Who did? Santa or Rudolph?

On the subject of Rudolph:

An elderly Russian couple, Rudolf and Olga, were walking one warm and sunny spring day through Moscow. Rudolf glanced at Olga and asked "Olga, my sweet of sweets...you have no umbrella. You wait all your life to own that beautiful, colorful coat you wear, yet nothing to protect it. Olga, take it from Rudolf...it gonna rain. And Olga be sad. And when Olga sad, Rudolf sad. Olga...let us stop and buy you umbrella."

"Rudolf, my love...there no clouds in sky. Sky is blue as the Baltic waters. It not going to rain." They walked on.

A few minutes later, Rudolf stops and says "Olga, love of Rudolf life, it going to rain. Rudolf as sure of that as the cold of Siberia...it going to rain. Olga, please...let us buy you umbrella."

Sighing, Olga responded "Rudolf, Olga tell you once it not going to rain. Olga now tell you twice -- it not going to rain. Olga sure of it. Let Olga walk in peace and enjoy the spring, my love." They walked on.

5 minutes later, Rudolf stopped, turned, and placed his hands gently on Olga's shoulders. "Olga," he said, "Take it from me. It going to rain. Olga's new coat will get ruined. Olga will cry, and Olga's sadness will drive Rudolf mad. Drive him to drink Vodka. Olga not like when Rudolf drink Vodka. Please, my precious...let us buy you an umbrella."

"Rudolph," Olga responded, "I swear on Stalin's grave. if you no stop this nonsense, you will drive Olga to drink the water of evil herself. Sky Blue...no cloud...beautiful day. Rudolf, my love...I say this with all love Olga have...shut up!" They walked on.

Two minutes later, angry Russian gray clouds rushed into the sky, followed by an absolute downpour. Despite their best efforts in finding the nearest shelter, Olga quickly becomes soaked. Though successful in finally finding shelter, Olga's coat becomes soaked as well -- and due to shoddy Russian manufacturing, the colors of Olga's coat immediately begin to run together. Overcome, Olga begins sobbing uncontrollably. As Rudolf lovingly embraces his wife, she slowly regains enough composure to ask "Rudolf, while Olga scoff, Rudolf know truth. Tell me, my love's desire...how you become certain that it going to rain?"

Placing his arm around his wife's back, Rudolf responded "Ahhh, my love. I thought you would have learned by now...

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, Dear."

Edited by HornTeacher
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