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Radio Station WDCP...with Adrian Cronauer


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Gooooood Mooooornin', DCP!! This is Adrian Cronauer, your man of the the hour...bringing you the tidbits of gossip, news, and items of insignificant wisdom from the land of the eternal Corpse...the land of the brass, drums, and dance...as in "No matter how you prance and dance, that last drop..."....speaking of drops, US Board of Health just confirmed that drops are outlawed in DCI competition...seems that drops could bring on a tic....and tics have been responsible for an outbreak of Lyme's disease in several corpse...DCI office is downplaying the story, responding "We'd rather have Lyme's in our shows than lemons"...Board of Health's response is "Yes -- but it can result in deaths"...DCi's counter-response... "That's ok...doesn't really matter. but it fits -- almost a week into the season, and about 23 groups are already dead in the water from expectations of a championship"...and speaking of dead in the water, at this point even Jaws himself would be sitting on someone's shoulder, looking like a common housefly, squeaking out "Help me. Help Me." ...And speaking of Jaws...how the living heck the Velvet Knights could keep him out of water for an entire summer without his passing on to the great contrafest in the sky is beyond me...of course, Jim Jones was glaring and muttering "That's Ghost Riders of the Sky, for heaven's sake"..but who was listening?...I"m not sure...ask the Blue Devils...but they would only shrug and respond "Children will listen"...yeah...fat chance of that..I'd say that we could only tilt our heads in consideration of that question -- but we'd probably be sued by Bluecoats organization lawyers over some kind of 2014 copyright infringement....and speaking of fringe...has anybody seen some of those uniforms?...It's like Broadway on crystal meth...even Bob Fosse is sitting in the great beyond, his head in his hands, watching "DCI Live!" and muttering "No...no...for the sake of humanity...nooooo.."...(Dit-di-di-di-di-Dit, di-di-di-di)...This just in...Troopers sue Dean Westman...basis for suit is "Why didn't you do those ideas with US?!!!....Westman's response..."But-but-but -- you don't have electricity in Wyoming yet"...Trooper response to that..."Oh....good point"...corpse last seen rehearsing the starburst for 4 hours....And speaking of Troopers...what's with the "poopy diapers" move you've used the past few years?..seems to me the last thing you'd want to portray is leaving a mess on the field, even if it IS in your own shorts...(Dit-di-di-di-di-Dit, di-di-di-di)...this just in...Spirit of Atlanta misses show in Louisville...something to do with food truck...will meet the corpse in michigan...but for now, the entire group is forced to live on Mrs. Fields cookies....30 members hospitalized for chocolate chip overdose, 10 at a time...first group of ten split up 5, 3, 2...second 10 split up into groups of 4, 3, and 3....third group of 10 arrivng at hospital in sets of 6, 3, and 1....the word got around the activity, and the specifics were given to the Cadets...corpse given details, resulting in one member exclaiming after the news of the third group of hospitalized spurts, "We WON???"...member was sent back home to the Poconos....rest of Cadets were immediately ushered to the turf for practice, with Hoppy counting off the approaching deadline with "One Mississippi, two Mississippi -- screw Mississippi..."....(Dit-di-di-di-di-Dit, di-di-di-di)...new on the wire...Carolina Crown sued for back use of name without payment....2 states fighting over who is actual recipient of infringement...6 lawyers for states throw their hands up and say "I give up. I'm going to an easier and more lucrative job"...(Dit-di-di-di-Dit, di-di-di-di)..UPI reports that Drum Corps International has hired 6 new lawyers for their copyright defense team...UPI also reports that after yesterday'pay negotiations for the lawyers, 4 of them committed suicide by carbon monoxide in their garages overnight....Ears perked up in Phantom Regiment headquarters upon hearing the news...some corpse staff heard to be muttering "Carbon monoxide...carbon monoxide...how did we ever miss THAT show idea????".... And speaking of think...what the heck was the Blue Devils staff thinking when they planned this "Ink" show?....9 BD color guard members arrested for public indecency, when their uniforms were confused as being pornographic Rorschach tests...the California Corpse's response..."Uhhh...and your point is?....And speaking of legals issues...the Madison Scouts are under investigation for international terrorism...seems that their corpse motto of "MYNWA" has been been, apparently , misconstrued in the Middle East as a terroristic motto of "Many Yemenites Never Wash Anything.", pointing to several occurances of nearly unanimous infidel applause and screaming whenever it is performed....a team of US diplomats, State Department officials, Madison Scout Executives, and Jeff Keavit have embarked to Yemen to settle the differences...an anonymous source claims "If those idiots over there won't listen to reason -- then we'll send our brass line over and bust their eardrums."....This effort is being hailed in the international community, and Macy's has already invited every person who has ever had anything to do with the Scouts, in any capacity, to attend it's 2016 parade as Grand Marshalls....(Dit-di-di-di-di-Dit, di-di-di-di)...This just in...Bob Barker is dead...news at 11....this is Adrian Cronauer signing off for now, saying "Keep it real for you and me, Keep it DCP"....

Edited by HornTeacher
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30 members hospitalized for chocolate chip overdose, 10 at a time... first group of ten split up 5, 3, 2... second 10 split up into groups of 4, 3, and 3.... third group of 10 arriving at hospital in sets of 6, 3, and 1....

Heh.

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Heh.

Just between you and me, N.E. -- I do hope that all of this is taken in the spirit of good ol', middle of the night, fun.

Edited by HornTeacher
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Just between you and me, N.E. -- I do hope that all of this is taken in the spirit of good ol', middle of the night, fun.

I want a years supply of what you had. (Always can use some "Good Morning Vietnam" humor.)

Edited by Ghost
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HornTeacher, you are the PDQ Bach of DCP.

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