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Drum Corps or Figure Skating...is judging going there or is it there?


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I fear that all of this discussion is leading up to one inescapable conclusion: that being, the formation of what shall forever be known as SCI.

Skating Corps International, that is.

With the list of 13 Founding members to include:

Argonne Axels

Boston Blue Biellmanns

Casper Camels

Carolina Crossovers (the world's first fully transgender Skating Corps)

Debuque Death Spirals

Edmonton Edges (lending true "international" credence to "SCI World Class")

Louisiana Laybacks

Las Vegas Lutzes (Due to pressure from Mafia owners and executives of city casinos, the corps will fold after the first season, due to a total loss of electrical power throughout the city resulting from the single need for all power being consumed to simply maintain a serviceable ice surface in the Nevada heat.)

Santa Clara Salchows

Spirit of Spirals

Toronto Toe Loops (See "Edmonton Edges" above)

Twin City Twizzles

Walla-Walla Walleys

Brian Boitano will be the first Executive Director of the SCI. Championships will be held each year in Nome, Alaska (to huge outcry from ALL fans, both of the East AND West coasts of the continental United States -- not to mention those in Hawaii -- who scream "You can't expect us to go THAT far for championships, for cripes sakes!!!"), and will hire Scott Hamilton as its championships stadium announcer. Hamilton will be fired after the first year, due to his propensity to yell "OHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOD!!! WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT!!! FAAAAAAAABULOUS!!!" throughout the entire evening -- including in the middle of corps performances. To replace Hamilton, SCI will hire former skating announcer Dick Button. Unfortunately, Button will have to be removed due to his constant, simple assessments of "Well...THAT sucked." for all corps performances (always said through judgementally-pursed lips). If nothing else, Button's inclusion will be of a positive nature for the activity, giving rise to a tradition of "Dick Button died." rumor mongering amongst all of its corps. For Button's replacement, SCI will hire Oksana Baiul. Her thick Ukrainian accent will render her announcing almost unintelligible -- but SCI will justify her hiring with the rationale "Oh, well...at least she'll be cute to look at." (totally forgetting, despite its infinite wisdom, that nobody will actually SEE her in the announcing booth). SCI will employ Tanya Harding as its "Kiss-And-Cry" area reporter. Harding, too, will be fired after her first year, due to her beating the living crap out of George Hopkins after his smug reply of "We'll let you know soon enough." in response to her question of "Do you foresee any changes to your program?" after one of its shows. Though SCI will actively seek out Nancy Kerrigan as Harding's replacement, Kerrigan will only be able to wail "WHYYYY MEEEEEEE???," and will be dropped from consideration. Finally, Michael Boo will be hired as the official score tabulator. He, unfortunately, will ALSO be released due to constant squabbles and disagreements with the Russian Judge, who will insist upon submitting all scores not only in word form, but in Cyrillic script as well. His replacement will be someone who goes by the secretive name "Garfield," and who, on another site, often exhibited an expertise in dealing with numbers. Boo will be reinstated to the post 20 years later (replacing "Garfield," who resigned from the position and, along with "the kid," accepted the position of DrumHead with his much-loved Toe Loops), but will again be canned due to physically abusing the same dino...errrr...Russian Judge after the judge's score of 11.250 for the eventual 16-time World Champion Blue Biellmanns. This second firing will lead to the longest thread (11,647 pages, and named "What is the Worst Case of Blue Biellmanns You've Ever Experienced?" ) of controversy on the SCP (Skating Corps Planet) website. In conclusion, all judging will be conducted according to a variation of the old "tick" system, but now called the "Slick System," whereby a judge can make allowances such as "I THINK that was an error...but I'll let it slide for now."

(In the words of teachers everywhere -- "Isn't summer wonderful????")

We could probably turn this into an Olympic event. I'm in.

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We could probably turn this into an Olympic event. I'm in.

Unfortunately, Jim McKay has long passed. He's the only broadcaster I would trust to treat it with the proper respect of which it would deserving.

Edited by HornTeacher
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I don't see that drum corps judging is going the route of figure skating.

Figure skating has automatic deductions for falls, missed jumps, program changes, etc. There are no automatic deductions fro similar problems in drum corps shows and even the mere suggestion makes many think we're returning to the TIC system.

In figure skating, the score of the short program is included as a percentage of a final score. In drum corps, each night you start with a clean slate. For finals the prelim score is not part of the semi's score or the semi's score part of the final score. This could make finals more interesting, and perhaps entice people to see all three shows in Indy, but I do not see it happening.

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HI,

Well, thanks for cheering up this old skating coach. I'm impressed at the knowledge you guys have :-) You should all hope that DCI never adopts a scoring system like the ISU ( International Skating Union). While it is supposed to be more transparent, it still has many grey areas and does indeed lead to cookie cutter programs. AND, it can be tough for the average bear to understand. There's only so many ways to get a level 4 spin and even fewer to get a level 4 step sequence. I do miss the old 6.0 system at times, but it still has some presence in the component scores. On that note... Bluecoats.. WOW! Can;t wait to see the Crossfoot Spinners and the Santa Clara Salchows :-)

I do miss figures... compulsories, but they compulsories wouldn't work in the drumcorps activity. Appreciate diversity, not sameness.

Best Regards,

John

Crossmen '80 and '81

Former Head Coach, Skautafelag Reykjavikur, Iceland.

Edited by bldbrkr
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HI,

Well, thanks for cheering up this old skating coach. I'm impressed at the knowledge you guys have :-) You should all hope that DCI never adopts a scoring system like the ISU ( International Skating Union). While it is supposed to be more transparent, it still has many grey areas and does indeed lead to cookie cutter programs. AND, it can be tough for the average bear to understand. There's only so many ways to get a level 4 spin and even fewer to get a level 4 step sequence. I do miss the old 6.0 system at times, but it still has some presence in the component scores. On that note... Bluecoats.. WOW! Can;t wait to see the Crossfoot Spinners and the Santa Clara Salchows :-)

I do miss figures... compulsories, but they compulsories wouldn't work in the drumcorps activity. Appreciate diversity, not sameness.

Best Regards,

John

Crossmen '80m and '81

Former Head Coach, Skautafelag Reykjavikur, Iceland.

Welcome aboard, John.

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