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2016 post season sale


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Believe the apocalypse is coming soon? Want to control when it happens? For sale, one time only- SIRI The Bringer Of Death!!! Comes with the creepy robotic voice, power of earth's destruction and blackhole.

Chainmail Alien Grim Reaper Sold separately. Call Blue Knights to get a leg up on ending the world..... Available next Thursday when the sun goes down:)

"Oh what a wonderful sale that would be..."

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Stagecoach available. Slightly used. Comes with backstory. Cleaning may be required. Contact Jim Coates at 1-800-HAV-MRCY.

Update: Perfect for the do-it-yourselfer -- the backside is not included, so add your own customization touches.

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For sale: One set of exquisitely balanced, but slightly used, sledgehammers. Previous owner's contract has been completed after laying about 1,928 miles of railroad track (not included, but available separately). Start your own spur line! Be a railroad titan! Or, these tools are perfect for spinning and tossing. Call 1-800-THE-UNION.

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Are BD's guard shoes for sale? They're wrestling/lifting shoes and I need myself a new pair.

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For sale: Trees.......barren trees..........LOTS of barren trees........ four corps switching to Port-o-Johns next season.

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GIGANTIC TROMBONE SALE: We are the brokers for several Drum and Bugle Corps who wish to unload dozens of used trombones. We've got tenors, basses, silver or brass, you name it. They are all priced to sell. Call 1-800-BUY-TBNS.

We are also the purchasing agent for these same drum corps who are in the market for saxophones (sopranos, altos, tenors, baris, and basses). Something about someone named George and new rules? Anyway, call us at 1-800-WUD-WIND for more info. Serious inquiries only, please.

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One large gray, multi-tiered Cakezilla for sale. Ideal for filming

a remake of a Homecoming parade takeover at the end of Animal House.

You'll make America great again with an immediate purchase.

Buy by Friday, and we'll include a smaller gray cupcake, complete with a Rocky from Transylvania.

It's just a step to the left, for more clearance items.

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Stagecoach available. Slightly used. Comes with backstory. Cleaning may be required. Contact Jim Coates at 1-800-HAV-MRCY.

I can't be the only one who heard the last part of that phone number in John Stamos' voice...

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