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Not really a new member, but I didn’t know where else to post this. I want to start by saying that this will be a very long post. I’m not looking for judgment or commentary about my life choices, maybe some advice if you’ve got it. I really just wanted to share this story as a way of getting it off my chest, so to speak. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, evaluating my current life situation and reflecting on goals I made years ago and some I’d like to shoot for now. So, without further ado, here goes:

I started playing clarinet in 4th grade. From the start, I knew music was part of my being. In middle school, I moved to bass clarinet and added tenor sax for jazz band. I also had a chance to play around with some other instruments such as vibes and handbells. By high school, I was playing bass clarinet, bari sax, contrabass clarinet, and learning to write and arrange. I performed in my school’s marching band, concert band, jazz band, I made district band, and I was part of the local county youth orchestra (Chester County Youth Orchestra, for any here that know of it).

During my junior year, in 2003, I was introduced to DCI at the local show in Hershey. My uncle was marching in the guard with Bloo, and I was hooked from the start. The next fall, I joined the Bucs in the pit. I had to learn percussion on the fly, and was having a good time with the corps, but I didn’t really gel with the staff. My uncle had aged out of DCI and joined the Skyliners for the ’04 season, so I decided to leave Reading for Sky, where I immediately felt like part of the family. Mark Allen taught me so much, and never made me feel like I wasn’t good enough just because I was a woodwind player learning mallets. That year, I had the whole experience: I was part of Crunchy Frog, and even though Sky didn’t make it past prelims, I was still a part of finals retreat by “joining” the Renegades. It was awesome. I marched sky the following year, just after graduating high school. We missed finals again, but I still had a great time.

That fall, life started forcing my hand. The one thing I wish that I would have done better was to focus more on my actual schoolwork in high school. I was one of those aloof students that could ace an exam, yet nearly fail a class because I didn’t do my homework. As a result, I couldn’t get into the schools I wanted to. I decided to go to Broome Community College with a plan to study liberal arts, and then transfer to a four year school for music education. During my first semester, I fell into the same pattern of not completing all of my assignments. This time, being college and all, meant that I would simply not pass the classes. I eventually dropped out and started working full time at McDonald’s.

More life choices: During this period, I got engaged and we started looking at our future. I knew that I didn’t want to raise a family on a McDonald’s salary, and felt that I blew my chance at college (for the time being) so I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I wasn’t confident enough in my ability to successfully audition for the band, so I joined in an administrative position.

Over the course of the first few years in the USMC, my wife and I had 3 wonderful children. I now had more maturity, responsibility, and motivation, so I looked into getting my degree. Because of deployments and moving around the country, I chose to study through SUNY’s online school: Empire State College. I realized that a music education degree was probably out of reach at this point since they require participation in performing ensembles and such. I chose to study English, mostly because it was the convenient choice. It was a huge accomplishment for me to actually earn my B.A. this year, and I am quite proud of that.

I got out of the Marine Corps back in May after completing 9 years of service. My wife and I decided that we wanted to stay where we were, let the kids stay in their school, and not have to worry about any more deployments, so I decided to not reenlist when my latest contract was nearing an end. We made the decision last summer, and I began looking for a job. As the months until the end came and went, I started to get nervous. I was submitting so many applications, but not receiving any interview offers. Finally, I got lucky and a local government contractor was looking for a technical writer to edit and review technical manuals used for aircraft maintenance. I applied and had the job offer all within a few days. It was a huge weight off my back. I started working the week after leaving active duty. I took no time off. We thought it would be a little easier than it has been financially with the change, but we’re making it okay.

Over the past few months, my wife has been looking for work. She has a degree in communications, but hasn’t worked since 2005 because she’s been raising kids. Now that all of the kids are in school, she wants to work, and we really need the extra income. Now, here’s where my dilemma sets in: I don’t really like my job. This is not something that I want to be doing for the rest of my adult life until retirement. It is one of the most boring things that I have ever done. It’s so boring, in fact, that I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and started this whole train a’rollin. There is a phrase that basically says that if you don’t like your situation, do something about it. Make the change, because it won’t just change by itself. So I started looking.

I basically had an epiphany one day: what I really want to do with my life, maybe even what I was always meant to do with my life, is to teach music. I want to teach high school band during the fall and winter, and teach drum corps over the summer. I want to play music for the rest of my life, to bring those same experiences I had to others. I want to bring drum corps to Coastal North Carolina. I want to start a county youth orchestra like I had growing up. I want to share my passion, a passion that waned for the past 10 years but that came back like an inferno last year (maybe Crown had something to do with that). I want to share it with others, to ignite that spark in the next generation.

There are 2 major universities that are each just under 2 hours away from my house, albeit in opposite directions: East Carolina University and UNC Wilmington. They each offer a B.M. in music education, and both have transfer options for second degree folks. I haven’t touched my G.I. Bill (and can’t transfer it to my family) so I have that to pay for the education. The problem is that if I were to start that program, we lose our income unless and until my wife gets a job. That’s where the frustration sets in. It gets hard to work on a 5 year plan when the things that are basically out of your hands don’t go according to plan. She is basically applying to any and every job listing that she feels qualified for, from the local news to Walmart and everything in between. She has sent in applications for months and has heard nothing except for a few rejection letters. Right now, I am working on preparing for auditions and applications for Fall 2017 entry to one of the music education programs. I just hope that by then, we have a solid income that I can take the time off that I need to complete my goal.

I’m sorry for this long post. I wasn’t trying to be whiney or looking for attention or sympathy or anything. Like I stated earlier, I really just wanted to get all of this off my chest because it’s been bugging me for a while. And I feel like this is the community that could appreciate where I’d like to go in life. Thanks for reading. If you’ve read all the way through, have a cookie. Now back to your regularly scheduled DCP discussions.

tl;dr: I made some choices, now I don’t play music. My life is boring and I want to play music, but life won’t help out. Cookies.

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  • 2 weeks later...

... maybe some advice if you’ve got it.

Your 'life choices' provided you with performing in drum corps, marriage to a wonderful wife, three great children, dedicated service to our country, a B.A. Degree, gainful employment using your English Degree but not necessarily your dream career position, and your Epiphany is that you somehow regret that you did not pursue Music Education so long ago. While you can choose to get that Music Degree in short order, and that will be great if that is what you want to do, my (advice) is to not regret the choices that gave you such a wonderful life, but actually delight in the fact that the choices you made in the past have given you all of those wonderful aforementioned items. And on a final note, I hope to see you teaching music sometime in the future!

Edited by Stu
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