garfield Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 2 hours ago, Weaklefthand4ever said: I knew someone would be thinking along the same line (I'm sure many do.) Let's face it, the man is a malignant narcissist. I wouldn't be shocked if somehow a claim of NPD was brought forward. In this case (if I remember the way the specific law works,) NPD is still considered a "Character Disorder" which wouldn't offer any protection from a legal perspective. Many of his so called "apologies" from the old "yeahguy" blog site seemed to certainly point to this type of character flaw. His messages always seemed to be devoid of actual empathy and had that air of "sorry (not sorry) if your feelings got hurt but you have to accept me as I am." Malignant narcissists are only fearful of being caught....it's the only thing that tempers their control tactics. I guess in hindsight, he must have felt safe since, until this story broke, he was continuing to get away with his actions from his rants all the way trough to the allegations of sexual abuse / misconduct. I'm glad the victims found the voice to come forward. I'm certain there will be more. The quote you answered in this post is attributed to Tim K, not me. I'm not nearly that smart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 2 hours ago, garfield said: I'm not nearly that smart. Well, it's about time you admitted it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terri Schehr Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 5 hours ago, Weaklefthand4ever said: I knew someone would be thinking along the same line (I'm sure many do.) Let's face it, the man is a malignant narcissist. I wouldn't be shocked if somehow a claim of NPD was brought forward. In this case (if I remember the way the specific law works,) NPD is still considered a "Character Disorder" which wouldn't offer any protection from a legal perspective. Many of his so called "apologies" from the old "yeahguy" blog site seemed to certainly point to this type of character flaw. His messages always seemed to be devoid of actual empathy and had that air of "sorry (not sorry) if your feelings got hurt but you have to accept me as I am." Malignant narcissists are only fearful of being caught....it's the only thing that tempers their control tactics. I guess in hindsight, he must have felt safe since, until this story broke, he was continuing to get away with his actions from his rants all the way trough to the allegations of sexual abuse / misconduct. I'm glad the victims found the voice to come forward. I'm certain there will be more. 👏👏👏 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icer Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 14 hours ago, Weaklefthand4ever said: I knew someone would be thinking along the same line (I'm sure many do.) Let's face it, the man is a malignant narcissist. I wouldn't be shocked if somehow a claim of NPD was brought forward. In this case (if I remember the way the specific law works,) NPD is still considered a "Character Disorder" which wouldn't offer any protection from a legal perspective. Many of his so called "apologies" from the old "yeahguy" blog site seemed to certainly point to this type of character flaw. His messages always seemed to be devoid of actual empathy and had that air of "sorry (not sorry) if your feelings got hurt but you have to accept me as I am." Malignant narcissists are only fearful of being caught....it's the only thing that tempers their control tactics. I guess in hindsight, he must have felt safe since, until this story broke, he was continuing to get away with his actions from his rants all the way trough to the allegations of sexual abuse / misconduct. I'm glad the victims found the voice to come forward. I'm certain there will be more. I’m not a psychologist, but there has to be something seriously wrong with an individual that can go down this road and not have it consume them, whether it’s a priest, a teacher, or a corps director. How does one get up and look in the mirror every day? How does one go about trying to set an example? Even absent a conscience (or the ability to rationalize it, which is the same thing as not having a conscience), how does it not become torture to have that in the past, knowing that at any moment it could become public? It would be like a real-life version of “The Telltale Heart”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigW Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 3 hours ago, Icer said: I’m not a psychologist, but there has to be something seriously wrong with an individual that can go down this road and not have it consume them, whether it’s a priest, a teacher, or a corps director. How does one get up and look in the mirror every day? How does one go about trying to set an example? Even absent a conscience (or the ability to rationalize it, which is the same thing as not having a conscience), how does it not become torture to have that in the past, knowing that at any moment it could become public? It would be like a real-life version of “The Telltale Heart”. I know where you're coming from. I worked as a volunteer in college at Camp Hill State Prison. There were guys who were very straight up with me who said they were there because they did something massively stupid when they were under the influence of some substance. Any young person who tells me that messing with adult substances, legal or illegal to an uncontrolled extent... I tell them that. There were a couple of cats that were legit psychopathic cases, did some pretty heinous stuff and had no real remorse for what they did other than maybe that they were caught. Some individuals are truly off the rails and beyond human and societal norms. They're scary. It's why learned people study them seriously- and from what I know, they haven't found out a whole terrible lot for all their work so far. It's really unfathomable. Not sure what to tell you encouraging, more if I hung out with you I'd buy you an adult beverage and just hang out and talk about something better in the activity. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terri Schehr Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Icer said: I’m not a psychologist, but there has to be something seriously wrong with an individual that can go down this road and not have it consume them, whether it’s a priest, a teacher, or a corps director. How does one get up and look in the mirror every day? How does one go about trying to set an example? Even absent a conscience (or the ability to rationalize it, which is the same thing as not having a conscience), how does it not become torture to have that in the past, knowing that at any moment it could become public? It would be like a real-life version of “The Telltale Heart”. They’re called sociopaths. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim K Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 8 hours ago, Icer said: I’m not a psychologist, but there has to be something seriously wrong with an individual that can go down this road and not have it consume them, whether it’s a priest, a teacher, or a corps director. How does one get up and look in the mirror every day? How does one go about trying to set an example? Even absent a conscience (or the ability to rationalize it, which is the same thing as not having a conscience), how does it not become torture to have that in the past, knowing that at any moment it could become public? It would be like a real-life version of “The Telltale Heart”. Growing up, I worked retail: a drug store, major department store, a book store, a record store, and a deli. I also had stints as s bank teller. No one who got caught with their hand in the till ever stole a large amount of money. Why did they throw their job away for something so small? Why does a loving father and husband throw everything away for a one night stand? There are as many reasons why people do stupid and harmful things as there are people. Regarding crimes of a sexual nature, psychologists and criminologists site all kinds of reasons: a desire for power, a tendency toward violence. in the case of adults abusing children, they may be victims themselves, and hosts of other reasons. The reasons are important, but as to why some people show no remorse and have no problem looking themselves in the mirror, there does seem to be a common factor, namely the rules do not apply to them, or so they think. Not everyone who believes the rules do not apply to them are predators or criminals, but it can be a big factor. Another is denial. Never underestimate the role denial can play in people’s lives. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTNK Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 11/18/2018 at 9:17 AM, Weaklefthand4ever said: I knew someone would be thinking along the same line (I'm sure many do.) Let's face it, the man is a malignant narcissist. I wouldn't be shocked if somehow a claim of NPD was brought forward. In this case (if I remember the way the specific law works,) NPD is still considered a "Character Disorder" which wouldn't offer any protection from a legal perspective. Many of his so called "apologies" from the old "yeahguy" blog site seemed to certainly point to this type of character flaw. His messages always seemed to be devoid of actual empathy and had that air of "sorry (not sorry) if your feelings got hurt but you have to accept me as I am." Malignant narcissists are only fearful of being caught....it's the only thing that tempers their control tactics. I guess in hindsight, he must have felt safe since, until this story broke, he was continuing to get away with his actions from his rants all the way trough to the allegations of sexual abuse / misconduct. I'm glad the victims found the voice to come forward. I'm certain there will be more. Yes indeed. In 2006 my mom read the HopBlog during the season and his self-righteousness completely turned her off of drum corps. Hop was a wannabe cult leader. "Choose your attitude" and the rest of his self-help "philosophy" was an example of a classic cultist strategy for stifling dissent. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 8 minutes ago, FTNK said: Yes indeed. In 2006 my mom read the HopBlog during the season and his self-righteousness completely turned her off of drum corps. Hop was a wannabe cult leader. "Choose your attitude" and the rest of his self-help "philosophy" was an example of a classic cultist strategy for stifling dissent. Think the same year Cadets were in an exhibition show at Gettysburg. GH gave an introduction and went on and on.... People around us were wondering if he was clueless that it wasn’t a Cadets band seminar or he had a chance to be the center of attention and couldn’t let go. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Ream Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 49 minutes ago, FTNK said: Yes indeed. In 2006 my mom read the HopBlog during the season and his self-righteousness completely turned her off of drum corps. Hop was a wannabe cult leader. "Choose your attitude" and the rest of his self-help "philosophy" was an example of a classic cultist strategy for stifling dissent. https://yeaguy.wordpress.com/page/1/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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