IllianaLancerContra

New Cadets Sexual Assault Accusation

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1 minute ago, Jeff Ream said:

using copyrighted material without permission? ya know that whole licensing thing that has been vexing the activity for a few years now?

You know what would be a good look? Cadets going after a kid that was sexually assaulted while on their watch over a petty thing like this. Genius....

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3 hours ago, wvu80 said:

When someone says words to the effect "you just wait and see, there's more to this.  Stick around and see what happens..." then it is baiting.  It's a tease from someone who "knows" to all others who don't.  It's inappropriate in my professional opinion.

If as you suggest, a person has some factual information and they are respecting the wishes of whoever has these facts, then nothing should be said.  Let the "facts" come out and speak for themselves.  Teasing that there are facts which will come out in the future does not aid in protecting those kid's privacy.

My concern in this thread is very narrow due to my work experience and values while representing CPS in court with regards to both perps and victims, and my focus on on the welfare of the kids, period.  These are children and their privacy MUST be preserved, especially on a drum corps discussion board, even if "everybody knows it."

Everybody does not know it.

I dont claim to know all. I do know some. And it'll stop the instant rush to condemn the Cadets in several instances.

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5 minutes ago, Jeff Ream said:

I dont claim to know all. I do know some. And it'll stop the instant rush to condemn the Cadets in several instances.

I'm not so myopic or naive to believe this is about the children and nothing else.  There are other legitimate issues and unanswered questions.

You'll have to forgive me if I focus in like a laser beam on the safety and welfare of the the kids.  My values and life experiences point me in that difference, first.

Edited by wvu80

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33 minutes ago, Spatzzz said:

You know what would be a good look? Cadets going after a kid that was sexually assaulted while on their watch over a petty thing like this. Genius....

I never said they should go after them. But the adult should know better given his very easily found profession

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31 minutes ago, wvu80 said:

I'm not so myopic or naive to believe this is about the children and nothing else.  There are other legitimate issues and unanswered questions.

You'll have to forgive me if I focus in like a laser beam on the safety and welfare of the the kids.  My values and life experiences point me in that difference, first.

i am very afraid for G, on multiple levels. Both in Indy and since.

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Just now, Jeff Ream said:

I never said they should go after them. But the adult should know better given his very easily found profession

You assume an awful lot. You are assuming the adult had something to do with the Go Fund Me you assume this and you assume that. You infer and insinuate and generally gossip.

I will believe it when the parties directly involved speak on the issue. I would STRONGLY encourage others to do the same and ignore rumor, gossip and insinuation which is what you are trafficking in.

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38 minutes ago, wvu80 said:

Again, you make a reasonable point.  Adults should be held accountable for their actions they make in public.

The problem/issue I would raise, is how do you deal with the adult's behavior on a Drum Corps Discussion board without directly identifying the child?

My answer is that even though your point is that somehow discussion board participants have some kind of right or obligation to hold a parent accountable, to me the bigger and much more important concern is to not harm the child. don't further traumatize the child. 

That includes an alleged perp who might not be guilty but will forever be associated with the accusation, and the alleged victim whose private trauma is now made much worse by having to face the public shame, perceived or real, that comes with sexual assault.

Let me make a hypothetical case; how would you feel if the child victim went into depression and did self-harm?  I assure you that has happened in cases I know about.  And for the purpose of this discussion, how do you think a person might feel about contributing to that outcome, because he/she felt they had to publicly take the parent to task?  What is DCP's responsibility in contributing to that outcome?

It's so horrible none of us want to think about it.  I am just raising the red flag and saying, we should think about it. 

This could happen.

 

That would be awful.  

But given some of the outrageous  comments that occur outside of DCP, and given that the harm of exposure has already been done, it seems to me that rational discussion here might also contribute to preventing such an outcome.  So I honestly don't know what the best course of action is.  

The thread seems unlikely to be closed, and doing so would trigger more allegations of circling the wagons, covering things up to protect the empire, etc., as well as leave even fewer options to temper the heated discourse with rational thought.  So if it stays open, we should try our absolute best to remain rational.  

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5 minutes ago, skevinp said:

That would be awful.  

But given some of the outrageous  comments that occur outside of DCP, and given that the harm of exposure has already been done, it seems to me that rational discussion here might also contribute to preventing such an outcome.  So I honestly don't know what the best course of action is.  

The thread seems unlikely to be closed, and doing so would trigger more allegations of circling the wagons, covering things up to protect the empire, etc., as well as leave even fewer options to temper the heated discourse with rational thought.  So if it stays open, we should try our absolute best to remain rational.  

The Dropbox link should be removed from Reddit. Then at least the incident can be discussed without the public having incredibly easy access so much identifying information about the kids.

I asked OP to edit post and got a snarky response.

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23 minutes ago, skevinp said:

... it seems to me that rational discussion here might also contribute to preventing such an outcome.

 

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I think the usefulness of this thread probably ended after the first few pages. 

We say we are only hearing one side of the story. Not accurate. There are three sides of the story and a police report which serves as backup documentation, and we have yet to hear any. The three sides: The Cadets version, the perpetrator’s version, and the victim’s version. The two others in the room were sleeping so there is no story there, and we can’t assume the mother is speaking on behalf of her son. Perhaps she is, but this would not be the first time a kid wanted something dropped but a parent, often coming from the right place, cannot do it. Whether there are family issues, whether the mother is stable, whether the mother wants more money, etc., are not relevant to the issue at hand. Her lengthy letter and attachment of the police report may be a bit over the top, but the issues that upset her may have little to do with her perceived short comings that so many have been quick to share.

The problem is most likely being cut from the Cadets when Cadets knew what happened the previous summer. The reason the mother states he was cut is because her son put on too much weight and was out of shape. She also claims he is battling PTSD, which is often treated with anti depressants and anti anxiety medications and a side effect is weight gain. I can see where a parent might think “My son was cut because he gained weight because of medications he had to take because of something that happened while in your care.” Cadets could argue that in auditions everyone is on the same level playing field, and that’s probably true, but I’m not sure a parent would see it that way.

The fact he was accepted to march with another corps: Cadets would view it as the chance for a fresh start, which I would argue is an excellent solution. A parent might see it as they do not believe my son, or they just want to get rid of him. 

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