Advice greatly needed

[PhantomR]

alright. I need some advice on how to get my parents to let me march for this year.

It's not about money. They dont think I'm ready to be away for such a long time, and I agree. 2 and a half months IS a long time.

But I'm mature enough. I'm going to sound straight up arrogant when I say this, but I just think it's my parents not ready to let me go.

I think they are afraid of it, honestly. I know I am ready. I've been ready forever now. All I can think about when I watch a corps perform is I wish I could be there, or about how ready I am to march.

I really want to march. I am ready for it, I just need some help convincing my parents to budge on it.

advice, please.

~>conner

[Lancerlady]

My husband says first off try to find a corps close to home. This will help your parents.He had to start off with a corps in California before going to Revere Mass. I remember I had a hard time to trying to convince my folks to let me go off to Revere, Mass from Memphis, TN. But I was 16 when I marched in the Memphis Blues and it was easier for me cause it was right close to home. But when I got a part time job and helped paid for my expenses, they saw how serious I was about wanting to go to march with the 27th Lancers they came around. They saw how much I grew up in that first summer. So, If you just show them you are mature enough by not letting it interfere with your school work and maintaining good grades, that will help too.

Hmm..on the DCI Legacy DVD's they have "vigenettes" let them see those because their are good stories about drum corps does for you.

It helps to mention the fact that you could possibly get a good schloraship for college band even if you don't want to major in music, you could get one for band that would help expenses. :)

But I say, show them the benefits of what drum corps will teach you. Try to go for a division 2/3 corps that doesn't have a long tour schedule so you won't be so far away. Or even contemplate doing a DCA corps to start off with. Cause they don't go on tour all the time. You have Carolina Gold right there. Plus you will get some experience for trying out for another corps. Hmmm...that's a start I guess. :)

[TommySopranoContra]

Say how good it is for college. One of my friends got into Upenn with his essay completely about this DCI experience.

Me, I have the permission, I was taken out of a corps very early this year to fill a hole because my parents want me studying for SATs. So I have to get a full score or else no DCI ever...

Edited August 21, 2005 by TommySopranoContra

[festive]

Conner:

How old are you?

I started marching when I was 15...I marched for three years (all of which were when I was in high school).

My mom basically believed that I could handle the responsibility of being on my own for the summer. My grandma didn't think so, and they argued about it. It got pretty rude for a while; drum corps was hard, but even getting to march that first year at all was hard, too. I think what tipped it was me saying:

"I know you think I'm not mature enough to be doing this. I also know that drum corps is unfamiliar to you. But there's really no reason to be that concerned about it. I can handle myself--I do well in school and I'm a good kid. There are many people my age that march in drum corps, and it doesn't present a problem for them. The reason that it works is because all the members are constantly chaperoned by parents, and all members are expected to behave appropriately at all times. In fact, if you want to, you can go on tour with us and volunteer...they welcome parents' support. I think you might have a different opinion about it if you spoke to the corps director. If you let me audition, we can both go to the camp...and you'll see what its about and meet with the people responsible for it. Then we can talk about it more."

Or something like that. B)

[xrifle]

Lancerlady had great suggestions. But in addition, show your folks that you really do know how to take care of yourself. Do you do your own laundry? Do you get yourself up in the morning and out the door without any prodding from them? Do you manage your time well on your own? Do you eat well and sleep enough when left to your own devices? Do you clean up after yourself? Can you manage your money or are you always broke? Do you get along well with friends, co-workers, teachers, etc. or do you move from one drama to another? Do you make good decisions for yourself or do you just follow the crowd? Speaking as a parent, these are the kinds of things that would impress me, would help me to see my child as mature and independent.

All this and good grades pretty much lets you do most things in my house.

[RobRoy]

Conner,

You have to look at this through your parents eyes. I assume they love you and want what is best for you. I'm not a parent but I'd be apprehensive about letting a teenage child take off for the summer, with what is really limited supervision, especially under the direction of a bunch of adults I know little about. As a high school band director, there aren't that many kids who I would recommend marching, especially divison one, before their senior year. And with the kids who I feel are mature enough, I'd be very selective about the corps I wuold recommend to them and thier parents.

So, your job is to eleviate these fears. Lancerlady (who is very wise, even when I disagree with her :P ) has made some good suggestions. If you chose a local corps you won't be so far away for camps. Your parents could go and see how things are done, and hopefully develop some trust in the leadership. If they are the gung-ho type they could even become involved as volunteers. If not, they could at least drop in on rehearsals and see you are being treated well.

It also might be easier to sell them on a corps that does a limited tour. Heck, tons of parents send preteens off to summer camps that last a couple weeks or more. Certainly a mature teenager like yourself could handle a tour like this. They should be able to see this arguement.

Finally, do you know anybody from your school or area who has recently marched? You could get them (or better, their parents) to talk to your parents about the experience. I had a former student march Crown this year (he was a 10th grader) and when I talked to his mother, she was thrilled with things. That would have to help alleviate a parent's fears.

I wish you all the best. I listened to all the reasons not to march and waited until I was an age out to finally do it. One of my biggest regrets. I admire you for going after what you want early. If there is anything I can do to help you reach this goal, don't hesitate to ask.

now that I see xrifles comments that my be the very best advice. Show by your actions just how mature you really are.

Edited August 22, 2005 by RobRoy

[PhantomR]

thanks everyone :)

I'm going to attempt to bring pu the discussion again. I've been so blind sided by everything, I haven't been able to think about what to say.

I am 14 right now, but I turn 15 in September, meaning if I audition this year, I will be 15 as well.

Thanks again.

~>conner

[corkineaj]

hey conner,

make sure your parents meet the staff and some of the other corps members. Usually, parents are more malleable when they know who you'll be spending your summer with.

also, make sure you are ready to march. For some kids, marching at 15 is great and many continue on for more years. As for myself, I found it difficult to be a fourteen-year old and march with 21-year olds. Didn't continue past one year mainly because I wasn't ready for my first summer on tour.

[Bob Brady]

Conner,

I think you have already received some sound advice.

The main thing is for your parents to feel assured that you are capable of handling the responsibilities and pressures that you'll face during a summer of corps,along with alieviating their fears that you are joining a cult of renegade Gypsies who are going to warp your mind and turn you into a psycotic serial killer!( :P j/k!)

I know that you told me that you were looking at a couple of the smaller corps in your area to start with, and that's probably a pretty good idea.

Take your folks to rehearsals and open houses- I'm sure the corps staffs will be more than happy to answer any questions your parents may have. Let them get to know the people involved with the corps and see what a family atmosphere it really is.

I wish you the best of luck! You seem like a young man who has seemed wise beyond his years on many occasions!

Hope to see you on the field next summer!

GOOD LUCK!! :)

[MsBusDriver]

Bring into the discussion with them that you are not "really" on your own. There are at least 200 people (marching members, plus instructors, plus support staff) that are with you 24/7. You will eat 3 square meals a day plus snaks, they (your parents) will know "exactly" where you are (Corps web-site) and who you are with.

The time of 2 1/2 months sound like a really long time, but in reality, it slides by in a flash with the traveling, practicing and almost daily shows. If your Corps is in the area that your parents are, they could show up to lend a helping hand (much appreciated). That way they can see you and see what a great thing Drum Corps is for their kid. Maybe they could make it to finals.

It beats hanging out at the Mall all Summer, that's for sure. You will come back more mature than when you left and 100 times in better shape. And what the heck, if one of your parents can volunteer to go on tour, then encourage them to do so. It's really not so bad. When I first started at 14, my Mom was a chaperone for a couple of years. I was so busy, I hardly ever saw her (I know she kept an eye on me though ).

Have them watch Finals on ESPN2 on Sept 6th. Have them talk to other Corps Parents. Have them talk to a Corps Director. Good Luck Buddy!