hammondbrass Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 (edited) Sarah Jones - The Madoff of Marching Allentown, PA (AP) - As the financial debacle on Wall Street is being sorted out, several names and faces are popping up in the most unexpected places. The latest name in the economic collapse is elderly-woman/fictional-drum-corps-guest, Sarah Jones. When she wasn't pretending to be a voiced over character in a 10 minute "marching band" show while syphoning millions of dollars from financial bailout money through a non-profit organization, Miss Jones was vice-president of financial giant, AIG. She was quoted as saying, "...I love working on Wall Street...the speed, the tension, action...I always had to be own step ahead." Well, her pursuit of perfection and cut-throat-tactics to "do anything to win" have finally caught up with her as testimonies in Congress continue to unfold. This is one indictment that she wouldn't be ahead of. "You know, it used to be enough to start up a company and slowly build it with hard, honest work," said fan, Mr. Bones. "It's just a shame to see drum corps affected by the culture and glamour of fast money and greed of Wall Street." Although no arrests have have been made at this point, her evasion to federal prosecutors in the summer of 2008 will be scrutinized harshly. A "Madoff -style" sentencing of 150 years isn't predicted, but some time behind bars should come to be expected; this we believe. This post is meant in parody and is in no way the truth. It is in no way to depict any members, directors, organization, the AP News, or any overlord-shadow-governments in a negative light. Public figures are vulnerable to parody; no insults are intended because content is meant to be humorous rather than slanderous. The views expressed on this page are not neccesarily those of the author, nor are they necessarily the views of any product, service, sponsor, or author of another site mentioned or linked on this web page. In fact, they are not necessarily the views of anyone at all. Although, it is possible that someone, somewhere holds views that are similar or the same as the views expressed on this page, it is highly unlikely. That person probably does not exist. In fact, most likely, no one has ever existed that believes the views expressed on this page. Edited March 31, 2009 by hammondbrass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilbugleboy Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 The world would be a far less interesting place if there were no people with too much time on their hands. I applaud you sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kickhaltsforlife Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 (edited) I know this will be closed... but this is already one of my favorite threads ever. :doh: Edited March 31, 2009 by kickhaltsforlife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammondbrass Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 "Any reference to political, religious, world events, social issues, etc are not allowed, this includes member signatures, profiles, and avatars. Topics or posts that are started in any of DCP's forums pertaining to the aformentioned will be closed and/or removed." Oops. Well, it was still fun and a good creative escape. Bye bye post, you were so young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammondbrass Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 The world would be a far less interesting place if there were no people with too much time on their hands. I applaud you sir. Thank you gentlemen. But you should really thank Stephen Ludicow of "Life in America" for his hard-hitting journalism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PacMaN Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I call for a public execution to be carried out by Phantom's Drum Major. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeN Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Topic closed. Questions, concerns, suggestions or complaints can be sent to me via PM. Thanks, Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts