Jump to content

sebastienne st. jacque


dugg

Recommended Posts

Ya know, a lot of people feel the same way about sequins speaking to the essence of Sebastienne.

And the people who say that are mostly right.

However, NOTHING says Sebastienne St. Jacques like his preferred breakfast of two bags of sour cream and onion potato chips and a Faygo grape pop.

And to think that he was never featured on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

unwary spectator reactions ran the gamut from horrified,disturbed to absolute shock and fear! :worthy:

mariott's extra security was there in full force and on high alert,ready to move in at a moments notice should things suddenly get dicey.

after working his way through the crowded bar of unsuspecting and confused patrons he subsequently performed an unsolicited impromptu demonstration of the beginning of zydeco's show during which sebastienne abruptly experienced a severe pulled groin muscle and managed to drag himself off to an awaiting ambulance and his personal pharmascist dolce levitra. :worthy:

Edited by dugg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't reveal my source, but "friends of the WGI community" have indicated that as a result of his brilliant and daring performance in the lobby of the Dayton Marriott, Sebastienne St. Jacques is being reassigned to a little known and seldom assigned class established long ago by WGI.

In 2010, look for Sebastienne St. Jacques to be promoted to IB.

That's "Independent Banned" class.

Also promoted to IB status are all current and future alumni of The Sebastienne St. Jacques School of Dance, friends and family of Sebastienne St. Jacques and any person whose name contains "Sebastienne" "St." or "Jacques."

(WGI is taking no chances from here on out.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, SSJ was busy during WGI finals weekend, wasn't he? SSJ sightings everywhere!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

like the majority of loser color guard directors and discredited designers sebastienne has spent most of this week trying to wash off the pungent and all to familiar stench of failure.

thousands hundreds many a few of you have speculated as to why his guard "convalescence" was disqualified and subsequently banned from wgi competition.

here are a few theories as to why:

a.they were caught attempting to pilfer a tarp from ability.

b.they tried to sell expired meds to class A guards at a local circuit show.

c.they fell asleep/passed out during warm-up and missed their start time.

d.they tried unsuccessfully to bribe wgi big shot/lucille ball impersonator kristen o'melia with a bucket of chicken livers and a pound cake.

e.sebastienne allegedly threatened jim mahoney with a tell-all scratch n sniff scathing expose'.

f.all the above.

Edited by dugg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Following up on his thrilling appearance at the Dayton Marriott, Sebastienne is now involved in negotiations with The Band Hall to be their "cover boy" for their next catalog and the exclusive model for all of Tommy Keenum's latest fashions. Word has it that representatives from Fred J. Miller, Algy, and Dance Sophisticates are clandestinely meeting to come up with a counter offer for the allusive SJJ as they realize without his support they may be on the road to potential collapse.

In related news, former staff members of the Northern Lights are contemplating a return to the floor in 2010. This is primarily due to the fact that SJJ has finally given this much loved unit permission to perform a version of his off-off-off Broadway production of "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bedazzled". They had originally requested to use this music for their 2007 show but were vehemently denied by SJJ which ultimately led to their demise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sebastienne, Sebastienne, Sebastienne.

His delusions of grandeur continue to bloat at the same rate as his waistline.

1.) It's true: this year, he actually thought he had a legitimate shot at joining the Zydeco program.

Thank Heavens Byron Valentine extended the restraining order that he and numerous other directors took out against Sebastienne at the end of the '08 season.

2.) Also, Mr. St. Jacques insists that he was Sacred Heart's original choice for their "Tina Turner" featured dance soloist.

In an odd attempt to prove this claim, Sebastienne produced for the WGI steering committee a handful of crumpled-up credit card receipts for at least two dozen pairs of Size 13 patent leather pumps from "Big Gals Pay Less."

3.) And Sebastienne claims emphatically that he was approached by both Michael Townsend and Rosie Miller to "consult" on all of their 2009 programs.

Upon hearing this statement, Mr. Townsend and Ms. Miller rushed - and I do mean RUSHED - to join the aforementioned restraining order initiated at the end of the '08 season, bringing the total of directors participating in the court order to 56.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I worry that maybe it's time once again that Sebastienne's medications need to be reviewed by a psychiatric professional or perhaps by a veterinarian.

Edited by Mr. Know it all
Link to comment
Share on other sites

the color guard press corps recently reported that sebastienne has been contacted regarding the soon to be vacated chief judge position for wgi! :devil:

"i believe that mr. st. jacque has all the "neccesary qualities" :tongue: to fill this position" said an anonymous source inside the color guard illuminati. :worthy:

Edited by dugg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...