Words Of Consolation

[incognito]

Anyway and AGAIN, I'm not going to get into a fight about the judging. Nice try, SOMF69.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's not about a fight about judging, it's about your views about your mystery corps. If you kid is in the second place or 3rd place corps right now, then it's sour grapes against the judges. If you corps is in 8th and you missed the top 7, well, that's the way it goes sometimes. If you corps is below that, you should not even be addressing the issue, just support you kid's interest for the activity.

[DCI-Dadx2]

It's not about a fight about judging, it's about your views about your mystery corps. If you kid is in the second place or 3rd place corps right now, then it's sour grapes against the judges. If you corps is in 8th and you missed the top 7, well, that's the way it goes sometimes. If you corps is below that, you should not even be addressing the issue, just support you kid's interest for the activity.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Read his first post, in its entirety. Not just the one statement you''ve latched on to. DciDadx1 clearly has meant no offense. Then read all of the replies he's gotten. He asked for support, got it. How did your posts fit? Seems like you're the one that has tried to pick a fight in the thread, or at the very least took the time to post without meaning any support. I don't think he or his child deserved that.

[rut-roh]

If we're talking about the Spartans here.......and I have a pretty reasonable suspicion to think that we are.......then I am completely confounded at the entire premise of this post.

[Orpheus]

First, I'd like to thank everyone who posted responses here so far.  Lots of constructive input, and superb role models.  I hope I can meet that same standard.

But I'm hung up on this part of the original post....

I certainly hope that is not what you want your child to understand. 

Like it or not, judging an artistic activity such as drum corps is not an exact science, and results do not always reflect reality with 100% accuracy and precision.  That doesn't mean there is a "personal agenda" behind it all.

I'm glad someone else said it. I'd like to hear some specifics as to why the corps in question thinks they got "screwed." To me, it just sounds like another case of sour grapes. That is, "We didn't do as well as we thought we should have, therefore the judging must have been unfair." Call me a pollyanna if you must, but I still think that the judges (at least the vast majority of them) do their job to the best of their ability. That doesn't mean that you're not allowed to disagree with them, naturally. They're human beings, just like the rest of us, and subject to all the same biases and personal preferences that anyone might be, but that's not to imply that there's a conspiracy against your corps. In any case, I sure don't think it's a good idea to be teaching the kids in this corps that if they wind up with a poorer placement than they wanted it means that the judges are out to get them.

The above statement comes from someone who marched in the corps that came in 11th out of 14 units in the 1991 A-60 prelims in Dallas.

Edited August 11, 2005 by Orpheus

[DrumCorpsMom]

I know that there are certain judges that I cringe when I hear they are judging my kids corps. The scores matter to some, they don't to others. My kids always tell me whether they did the best show they could, and how the crowd reacted.. that is what matters to them, not a bunch of guys is khaki pants and green shirts.

It is frustrating to work so hard & not have your hard work recognized by the supposed professionals. I remember getting upset at a corps that we competed with getting announced as the winner of a show they didn't even show up for (immediately corrected, but boy did we get upset!) However, I agree with most of the posters (having marched myself). Drum Corps is an experience like no other - at the end of the day, it is the memories & the feeling you get when you grab the crowd's attention that will matter. When my kids call from tour, they never tell me the score until I ask... usually it is "Wow you should have heard the crowd" or "The instructors told us it was the best show yet" or "It was so cool, we got to do the encore and the crowd loved us".

What to say to your child?..... how about "Did you have fun?.... Did you make friends?..... Do you have memories that will last you a lifetime?" My bet is despite the scores, the answers will be yes to these 3 questions and if so, it is worth every dime and every bead of sweat that they spent.

Edited August 11, 2005 by DrumCorpsMom

[77kingsmensnare]

I’m the parent of a first-year child in a junior corps. 

I’m looking for help for words of consolation to say to my child.

I need help because I’m having a hard time justifying the outcome of the season.

My child belongs to a corps that is being treated unfairly by the judging community.  I don’t want to start a fight about judging, etc…; suffice it to say it’s enough that everyone in the organization feels the same way.  Right or wrong, that’s how they feel.

Because I’m having a hard time finding the words to help my child understand, I am asking the people of experience in this community to help me find them.  I want to promote this activity to my child in a positive light, but right now I am truly heartbroken over the way things are done in this activity by people with their own personal agendas.

It’s not like in any other sport, where the outcome of the competition is based on quantifiable numbers (runs scored, goals scored, etc…).  This activity relies so much on people’s opinions, and people are so easily corrupted.

There are those that say it’s not about the scores, it’s about the experience the kids have along the way.  I agreed with that whole-heartedly.  But the success of a corps is still measured by the outcome of the “contest”, and when the outcome is unfair, it taints the experience.

So please put down your keyboards, those that want to have a flame-fest about “fairness of contest”.  This is not my concern anymore.  I have resigned myself to the situation.

The only responses I hoping for are those that can help me frame the words to speak to my child when that child wants to understand the reality.  Or at least some words of motivation that SEEM sincere.

I am so depressed; I don’t want to transfer that to my child.

Can anybody help?  REALLY help?  Please be kind. 

And please don’t pick apart or paraphrase this post for any unintended offense to any person, place or thing.  Let me apologize NOW for any unintended offense anyone might have taken.  I am new at all this, and want to learn.  I want my child to be happy and motivated.  I want this GREAT activity to continue, and to be healthy.  If I’m incorrect, please help me understand, and try not to be mean.  Losers have feelings, too.

This is NOT a slam to the kids in the other corps who are being scored higher; they are busting their butts and doing everything their instructors are asking.  ANY kid who goes through this experience is MAGNIFICENT and deserves to be individually commended for their efforts.  Especially this summer, with the incredible heat they’ve been through.  These are ALL the GOOD kids.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have your son fill out a gratitude list!! Be greatful for the friends he has made be greatful for having a parent like you that supports him! How many kids get to tour the country and learn life lessons like the kids in drum corps! I think he is missing the point. I like that he wants to be the best, but at the end of the day, Drum Corps is about much more than box scores.

[DciDadx1]

To clarify:

I never said we're getting "screwed". I said we were being treated unfairly.

There IS a difference.

And perhaps "personal agenda" is the wrong phrase as well.

Maybe it's more correct to say "undue influence of PERSONAL taste".

I think that might be more to what I was thinking.

I purposefully tried to keep the affiliations neutral because I was looking for help with MY PERSONAL situation. No need to bring the rest of the corps into it, or have any positive/negative perceptions attached to any certain corps.

These are MY PERSONAL opinions, and not those of the corps.

I don't have "sour grapes"; I'm old enough to have taken my share of lumps in my life and know how to deal with that.

I was searching for inspirational advice for my son, and thankfully I received it. Thanks again those who helped out.

And no, I'm NOT talking about any top 3 corps. So enhance your calm, young man.

Edited August 11, 2005 by DciDadx1

[Orpheus]

Well ... I guess I've just never experienced judging as "unfair" as you seem to have experienced. I wasn't at D2/3 prelims this year, though, so what do I know? I'm sure "personal taste" was the only reason your corps placed where they did.

P.S. In fact, as I re-read your original post you actually say:

This activity relies so much on people’s opinions, and people are so easily corrupted.

Corruption? That's quite a claim! Any evidence?

Edited August 11, 2005 by Orpheus

[77kingsmensnare]

To clarify:

I never said we're getting "screwed".  I said we were being treated unfairly.

There IS a difference.

And perhaps "personal agenda" is the wrong phrase as well. 

Maybe it's more correct to say "undue influence of PERSONAL taste".

I think that might be more to what I was thinking.

I purposefully tried to keep the affiliations neutral because I was looking for help with MY PERSONAL situation.  No need to bring the rest of the corps into it, or have any positive/negative perceptions attached to any certain corps.

These are MY PERSONAL opinions, and not those of the corps.

I don't have "sour grapes"; I'm old enough to have taken my share of lumps in my life and know how to deal with that.

I was searching for inspirational advice for my son, and thankfully I received it.  Thanks again those who helped out.

And no, I'm NOT talking about any top 3 corps.    So enhance your calm, young man.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok now it sounds like "victim mentality" and thats whats wrong with alot of thinking today. We need to teach our kids not to have "victim mentality" or entitlement mentality.

[DciDadx1]

Ok now it sounds like "victim mentality" and thats whats wrong with alot of thinking today. We need to teach our kids not to have "victim mentality" or entitlement mentality.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yep, I agree with that.

I realize this is a sensitive issue for a lot of folks, and I've tried to keep the words as nice as possible. Sorry if I offended........I tend not to be very P.C.

"Corruption? That's quite a claim! Any evidence?"

Government

Banking Industry

Churches

Schools

PennDOT

My local homeowner's association

Cattle mutilations are up! :)

By the way, I'm feelilng MUCH better now!

Thanks to all the KIND people for NOT trying to flame me!