ScribeToo Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Okay as some of you may know, I house three kids in for a D1 corps. This is their 2nd year in my home and for the most part, everything has been fine. I don't personally have any kids marching but I thought it would be a nice gesture and a way to give back to a corps who I had no local ties with. That is until a couple of years ago by housing and doing some volunteering. But something happened today that nearly put my future and my life at risk. The way the situation is, I leave for work about 1/2 hour before they head off to all days. There really is no other option for me at work to come in a little later. I am single and have no kids of my own. I have enough trust in these kids that I have supplied them with their own set of keys to the house. Sometimes I work a 15 hour day and they make it home before I do and they have their own vehicles as well. They leave their cars at my house all summer which is not a problem as long as they leave me their keys so I can move them around my driveway i.e. lawnwork, a furniture truck, whatever. Well, I leave this morning, say my goodbyes and good luck for the day and drive off as my car is parked next to theirs. Today was a 13 hour workday for me. Get home at 8:30PM to have a hour to prepare dinner and what do I encounter as I come up to my front porch? They left the front door completely WIDE OPEN when they left this morning. I can't tell you the nervousness and emotions that went thru me as I went in my house. Went to each room and yelled out to see if anybody was around( maybe one was ill and came home for the day early, I was hoping) Nope. Nobody home and my house was unlocked for 13 hours and I'm not in the best or worst neighborhood in town, but the fact that anybody could have and somehow luckily didn't invade my home. I'm talking, computers, laptops, cell phones, digital cameras, stereo equipment, credit cards, bank info, musical instruments a little emergency money stashed away and their personal belongings to boot. But the kicker was, the keys to one of the kids cars was left on my kitchen table with the logos on the keys and the car sitting on my driveway. Neither the door lock or the deadbolt was locked. The door was left WIDE OPEN!! I wanted to come down on them like you wouldn't believe, but cooler head prevailed before they came home. I fed them, chatted with them for a moment and ask the one that I'm good friends with if I could speak with her in private. In an adult manner I'm proud to say, I explained the situation and relayed the severity of it and she agreed and offered an apology and promised it wouldn't happen again. But I can't help but be a little nervous from here on out. I know thay have a lot on their minds. They come home tired, mesquito stung, dirty, hungry and frustrated with the toll the all days are taking on them. They are beaten to a pulp and usually go straight to bed after showering and eating and get up every morning in pain even after 8 hours rest. I can't help but feel the corps may be a little responsible for what occured at my home today as I noticed the kids are losing their focus and stamina little by little each day which has resulted in their sloppy behavior around my house lately. Of course I doubt no corps would ever admit to working kids too hard, but these kids are solid veterans who have been around a while and they look like they need a little time off to recharge their batteries. A little time I said. Not a week or 3-4 days, but something more manageable to give them time to go to all days fully focused and ready to go. I really wanted to give these kids a piece of my mind, but I've marched, I know the stress and pain they are under and I believe I handled it the right way as I do have a special and close relationship with all three of these kids. I though had never experienced such a sloppy mistake like the one that they had made today and put my personal life at risk. I believe they did not do this on purpose, but what could have been scares the heck out of me. Any opinions out there? I understand your concern about this.. and equally, I applaud your response. I would caution you from allowing one bad decision on the part of probably one kid (the last one out the door) to shade your future contribution. Consider that this has happened ONE time. So it happened. YES, it was bad. I do believe they should ALL take responsibility for it. You mention it to them, you lay down the law. If, after it happening one time and you straightening them out, it happens again, then I would say it's time to reconsider your involvement (or at least this specific involvement). They are kids, afterall.. even if they're in their early 20s.. they're still kids. They are doing drum corps this summer for a host of reasons but we all know that many kids walk away learning about much more than just music and marching. You're adding to that education.. IMHO, you should give them a chance to do right before you end it all. Stef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstar82 Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 I probably would have taken all their belongings, keys, etc, and hid them. Along with the car!!! Then when they got home told them you found the front door completely wide open with some things in the house missing, and you would like to know exactly which member locked the door that morning. I'm sure the looks would have been quite interesting. After about 10min of sweating bullets and panic, I would return their stuff and give them the "this can't happen again" lecture. Not a bad idea, but I was still trying to calm myself down in an hour before they got home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvertrombone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I probably would have taken all their belongings, keys, etc, and hid them. Along with the car!!! Then when they got home told them you found the front door completely wide open with some things in the house missing, and you would like to know exactly which member locked the door that morning. I'm sure the looks would have been quite interesting. After about 10min of sweating bullets and panic, I would return their stuff and give them the "this can't happen again" lecture. Ha-ha! We have a winner!! Nothing like them wondering where their car is, iPod (heaven forbid!), etc. Original poster: How would you feel if your place HAD been ransacked?? Condoms, pills, beer, and adoption comes to mind. Best thing I've ever heard about kids in this type of situation was a parent accosting their child of some such stupid thing and they asked, "What were you thinking???" Kid replies, TOTALLY HONESTLY, "I don't know." They really don't. Especially after all-day's. Still not an excuse in DC. They have to be showered, polished, on the bus, get sleep, do laundry in 2 hours, etc, etc, etc. They can close the blasted door and lock it for crying out loud. They would do it if it were their dorm room. That being said, all the cars around--and first time happening--is probably why nothing happened. Kudos for not going postal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bass5 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 You mentioned that they leave for rehearsal 1/2 hour after you leave for work. I would tell them from now on that they get up and out the door before or at the same time you leave for work. My guess is is that when they get home, even if you're not home yet, that they will be there in the house. This way they actually have to take responsibility for their actions by getting up a half hour earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvertrombone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 You mentioned that they leave for rehearsal 1/2 hour after you leave for work.I would tell them from now on that they get up and out the door before or at the same time you leave for work. My guess is is that when they get home, even if you're not home yet, that they will be there in the house. This way they actually have to take responsibility for their actions by getting up a half hour earlier. Ooh...lost sleep--evil!! We have a winner, folks!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstar82 Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 You mentioned that they leave for rehearsal 1/2 hour after you leave for work.I would tell them from now on that they get up and out the door before or at the same time you leave for work. My guess is is that when they get home, even if you're not home yet, that they will be there in the house. This way they actually have to take responsibility for their actions by getting up a half hour earlier. That idea did enter my mind. I'm trying show a little trust here though that this was a one time slip up. Still one time too many. And the saving grace was nothing was touched. But silvertrombone, you're right. I doubt this would have occured in their dorm rooms or apartment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piper Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Well, at least going by your posts, you didn't inform the corps' director. If that happened the **** probably would have hit the fan in a major way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstar82 Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Original poster: How would you feel if your place HAD been ransacked?? Condoms, pills, beer, and adoption comes to mind. It would not have been a pretty sight I'm sure and I would be drinking heavily today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
84skyrydr Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 OK, here it is in a different way. The "kids" made a mistake. One of MANY that they will make in life. You are housing kids who not only voluntarily go to get their butts kicked by the corps, but PAY to do so. They are FAR better than any kid sitting at their own home on the couch, thinking about entering that unlocked house with the door open. They are still people and mistakes WILL happen. You need some of the pills that I found in my house to calm you down. I can see both sides of the coin, having housed strangers kids and having been housed while in Schaumburg with the Guardsmen, and then in Hutchinson with the Sky Ryders. Think about the postion you and they are in. It will have pitfalls no doubt, but look at the issue as a whole. Do you know for fact that the kids left the door completely wide open? Was there the chance that they pulled on it as they walked out, but not latching it and then during the day a wind blows and voila, the door opens. I am just saying, that the issue could have been serious but WASN'T, so decide for yourself whether helping kids with the class and character it takes to be a part of an organization such as drum corps is worth the tv that could be replaced. You have to be able to accept it, I hated that part when I housed. You don't know what you are coming into untill you are there. It has to be your decision as to what to do, but think it through in a calm and reflective manner. You will do the right thing, no matter what that right thing may be, but please do NOT expect ANY kid to be an adult, they just aren't. It doesn't mean that they are bad, I don't believe they are, but they are kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
84skyrydr Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 (edited) double post, sorry Edited June 1, 2007 by 84skyrydr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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