Interested in joining Convalescence

[grahamorbust]

HELLO? I'm hoping Sebastienne will post his audition information sometime soon. I heard the show concept has something to do with lifting off a real hot air balloon in the Dayton Arena and dropping equipment from it.

Can anyone help?

Thanks.

[PrfctTimeOfDay]

Audition Information:

and

Convalescence will also accept video auditions (and will post them for the public to see)

Edited September 9, 2010 by PrfctTimeOfDay

[Mr. Know it all]

I heard the show concept has something to do with lifting off a real hot air balloon in the Dayton Arena and dropping equipment from it.

I certainly hope Sebastienne has done his homework on this one.

An eerily similar balloon-related spectator event in the tri-county area during the 1970s didn't end particularly well when Cincinnati radio station WKRP dropped live domestic turkeys from a helicopter and onto unsuspecting patrons attending a promotional event sponsored by the station.

And just in case Sebastienne has, indeed, heard of this near-legendary turkey launching fiasco, it's important to note that WGI continues to enforce its ban on the use of live animals - including turkeys and all other flightless fowl, both domestic and wild - during all functions sanctioned by WGI and its subsidiaries.

Edited September 9, 2010 by Mr. Know it all

[GUARDLING]

I certainly hope Sebastienne has done his homework on this one.

An eerily similar balloon-related spectator event in the tri-county area during the 1970s didn't end particularly well when Cincinnati radio station WKRP dropped live domestic turkeys from a helicopter and onto unsuspecting patrons attending a promotional event sponsored by the station.

And just in case Sebastienne has, indeed, heard of this near-legendary turkey launching fiasco, it's important to note that WGI continues to enforce its ban on the use of live animals - including turkeys and all other flightless fowl, both domestic and wild - during all functions sanctioned by WGI and its subsidiaries.

What do you mean no animals? GEZZZ there goes the show concept

[dugg]

suprisingly hundreds of you pathertic losers have expressed interest in performing [and i use the term loosely]with "convalescence" .

"convalescence" is accepting video auditions however megalomaniac designer,part time pastry chef and hairdresser to the criminally insane sebastienne st. jacque requires a $40.00 "viewing fee" payable upfront and tapes will not be returned.

for auditions:bring your own sabre,lubricants,stool softener.

dancebelts,nipple tape and industrial strength spanx will be provided.

Please feel free to post you audition vid-clips here!

Edited September 9, 2010 by dugg

[tomgolf8]

I certainly hope Sebastienne has done his homework on this one.

An eerily similar balloon-related spectator event in the tri-county area during the 1970s didn't end particularly well when Cincinnati radio station WKRP dropped live domestic turkeys from a helicopter and onto unsuspecting patrons attending a promotional event sponsored by the station.

And just in case Sebastienne has, indeed, heard of this near-legendary turkey launching fiasco, it's important to note that WGI continues to enforce its ban on the use of live animals - including turkeys and all other flightless fowl, both domestic and wild - during all functions sanctioned by WGI and its subsidiaries.

You could always launch frozen turkey's into the audience as a give away right before Thanksgiving. You could use that surgical tube launchy thingy. How awesome would that be?

[grahamorbust]

, it's important to note that WGI continues to enforce its ban on the use of live animals - including turkeys and all other flightless fowl, both domestic and wild - during all functions sanctioned by WGI and its subsidiaries.

Anonymous sources have told me that Sebastienne's lungs are fully aware of the chain-smoking induced outrage of last season, and as a result, he may or may not be incorporating deceased animals this year. Apparently, Sebastienne has been in quite a few meetings with a world-renowned taxidermist, but sources report that he may nix that due to the shock factor that real dead animals would have upon the judges.

Whether this proves to coincide with his newly enlightened artistic vision remains a mystery...

Edited September 9, 2010 by grahamorbust

[PrfctTimeOfDay]

As promised. . .here is an audition tape from one of our 2011 members! Congrats Tim!!!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5192706/convalescence_2011/

Edited September 14, 2010 by PrfctTimeOfDay

[Mr. Know it all]

Ok, now I'm thoroughly confused.

The last batch of Convalescence audition information to which I had been privy clearly stated that auditions for the 2011 guard were going to be handled in person and on a 'by invitation only' basis.

As the story was related to me, video auditioning was not going be possible this year due to the fact that Sebastienne - again - has been reduced to living out of the back seat of his mulberry-over-taupe 1977 Ford Granada and, as a result, has no access to electricity, thus making it impossible for him to review electronic auditions submitted in any format.

Therefore, all 2011 performers were to be cast exclusively via live, 'invitation only' auditions monitored closely and, in some cases, illegally, by Sebastienne himself.

I also heard that standing squarely in the way of the aforementioned 'invitation only' selection process is the fact that Sebastienne - again - has been denied access/renting privileges to all indoor performance and practice venues in the continental United States, Canada and Mexico.

Supposedly, Sebastienne's recent appearance on an extended episode of "To Catch a Predator" with Chris Hansen hasn't been sitting particularly well with authorities in the various municipalities in which Sebastienne expressed interest in holding auditions.

At any rate, the last I had heard - and, admittedly, I could be dealing in outdated information here - auditions for Convalescence 2011 were going to be taking place this fall in two U.S. sites.

Here's what I know, or at least what I've been told:

CONVALESCENCE AUDITION SITE A

Tentatively scheduled during late October in the fertile Cin-Dayton color guard corridor, this audition experience, I was told, is a three-day camp/clinic followed by a strenuous audition phase to be conducted in the rear parking lot of a shuttered 'Chi Chi's' Mexican restaurant in the greater Fairfield/Middletown area.

Word on the street is that Sebastienne’s choice of this particular geographical location is yet another carefully calculated, strategic move by the award-seeking director in his continued - and, at times, confusing - campaign to recruit current members from The Pride of Cincinnati who might be otherwise unattached during the 2011 season during the organization’s hiatus.

The OTHER word on the street, however, is that upon hearing these rumblings about Sebastienne’s ill-conceived 'Pride' recruitment initiative, the full compliment of directors and staff from The Pride of Cincinnati have in turn forbade all active members as well as all alumni from becoming involved in any way whatsoever with Convalesence 2011 or else face an official ‘Pride’ court martial followed by an immediate and permanent expulsion from the organization, stiff financial penalties and complete digital elimination from all performances of The Pride of Cincinnati that have been released on DVD, VHS and all other downloadable media formats.

CONVALESCENCE AUDITION SITE B

I had also heard that a West Coast round of Convalescence auditions have been penciled-in for mid-November in the Walnut Creek, Calif., vicinity, supposedly somewhere in relatively close proximity to Shirley Whitcomb's home.

An important development to note here is that earlier rumors of the auditions actually taking place on Shirley's sun porch later turned out to be untrue. When asked about the origin of this rumor, Sebastienne is said to have told WGI representatives to "mind their own bees-wax."

And that’s all I know about auditions.

Oh - I almost forgot. Prospective members who made the Convalescence invite list for either of the live auditions supposedly - and this could be old information, too - supposedly were going to receive via 4th Class U.S. mail sometime during the month of September a personalized invitation handwritten by Sebastienne on the back of a credit card receipt from 'Dress Barn For Him.'

And THAT'S all I know about auditions.

Again, my information could be outdated, but I just wanted to pass it along. So, for whatever it's worth, there you have it.

Hope these details are helpful to anyone considering a future, such as it might be, with Convalescence.

Edited September 14, 2010 by Mr. Know it all

[lindap]

Ok, now I'm thoroughly confused.

...

Hope these details are helpful to anyone considering a future, such as it might be, with Convalescence.

Me too. How did you know confused is my middle name? btw Tim spins real good! I've been wanting to spin for real instead of spinning brooms and hockey sticks for years, got tips of what flag pole stuff to get at the hardware store. 'Cut it down to 6 feet', they said. sooo 'cause I've out of the loop for a while and 'go to the hardware store' is on my to do list; in the interim, I'll volunteer to unfold and fold up the floor thing, tarp thingy, huge peice of material for Con guard (i'm kinda tired and the name is long with lots of letters ;-). Here's my photo portfolio. Am I in?