JimF-LowBari Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Had an interesting talk with a gay friend who I hadn't seen for a while. Long story short some people who don't know her have some really wrong ideas about her for various reasons. Let's just say that first impressions are different from when you get to know her. I mentioned that last year on a social media group (yeah here) I posted some vague things that got taken out of context and I was pegged as anti-gay or afraid of homosexuals. Both of us agreed that once an idea of a stranger is set it's next to impossible to correct. At best the correction is ignored or you're accused of lying or CYA (cover your ###). So let's apply this to touring Drum Corps in the 21st Century. Note: never toured, did Sr corps and did corps before the Internet age. If someone gets the wrong impression of other members, staff, etc how are they corrected in this day and age? Do members have the opportunity to talk things out with the time (free time and other) they have together. Thinking with shorter seasons from the past member have less time together. Is the Internet used for people to communicate to talks things out during off corps times? Or are first impressions made and for the most part that's how others are remembered forever. Or (hopefully) how are wrong first impressions corrected today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lincoln Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Had an interesting talk with a gay friend who I hadn't seen for a while. Long story short some people who don't know her have some really wrong ideas about her for various reasons. Let's just say that first impressions are different from when you get to know her. I mentioned that last year on a social media group (yeah here) I posted some vague things that got taken out of context and I was pegged as anti-gay or afraid of homosexuals. Both of us agreed that once an idea of a stranger is set it's next to impossible to correct. At best the correction is ignored or you're accused of lying or CYA (cover your ###). So let's apply this to touring Drum Corps in the 21st Century. Note: never toured, did Sr corps and did corps before the Internet age. If someone gets the wrong impression of other members, staff, etc how are they corrected in this day and age? Do members have the opportunity to talk things out with the time (free time and other) they have together. Thinking with shorter seasons from the past member have less time together. Is the Internet used for people to communicate to talks things out during off corps times? Or are first impressions made and for the most part that's how others are remembered forever. Or (hopefully) how are wrong first impressions corrected today? An opportunity to learn. An opportunity to be wrong. The concept of first impressions sticking is outdated. Life is far too complex to follow such a rule. I have wonderful good friends that I wasn't that quite impressed with when I first met them. Had I followed those rules, I would never have had the opportunity to be wrong and most importantly, to gain the friendship of people that have become important forces in my life. There are no rules when it comes to such things....only learning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) "Life is too complex to follow such a rule". Well let's just say we got a few simple folks on DCP. Or at least have problems admitting they might have made a mistake with their first (gut) reaction. Just picture Fonzie on Happy Days "I was Wro. I was Wrrrrrrroooon". Seriously both sides need to want to talk and listen to correct any mistaken impressions. Too bad there are some here who want to express displeasure/throw mud and then go into stealth mode. Know we had corps members like that in my day and sure human nature hasn't changed that much in 4 (gag) decades. Edited January 26, 2014 by JimF-LowBari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perc2100 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Had an interesting talk with a gay friend who I hadn't seen for a while. Long story short some people who don't know her have some really wrong ideas about her for various reasons. Let's just say that first impressions are different from when you get to know her. I mentioned that last year on a social media group (yeah here) I posted some vague things that got taken out of context and I was pegged as anti-gay or afraid of homosexuals. Both of us agreed that once an idea of a stranger is set it's next to impossible to correct. At best the correction is ignored or you're accused of lying or CYA (cover your ###). So let's apply this to touring Drum Corps in the 21st Century. Note: never toured, did Sr corps and did corps before the Internet age. If someone gets the wrong impression of other members, staff, etc how are they corrected in this day and age? Do members have the opportunity to talk things out with the time (free time and other) they have together. Thinking with shorter seasons from the past member have less time together. Is the Internet used for people to communicate to talks things out during off corps times? Or are first impressions made and for the most part that's how others are remembered forever. Or (hopefully) how are wrong first impressions corrected today? Are you talking specifically about vagueness of sexual preference with corps mates & staffers on a DCI tour? In that instance in my experience from marching in the late 90's there are PLENTY of opportunities to converse with people while on tour, or even at rehearsal camps. I got to know the majority of my corps mates & staff while on tour, and while sexual preference was never a concern of mine (I was engaged so not really looking for a sexual partner while on tour), the people who didn't care about others knowing their sexual preference seemingly made their sexual preference known throughout the season (by dating others), and those who didn't want their business known kept their sexual preferences out of our business (by not dating or really discussing their affairs). Getting to know the members and staffers it was fairly apparent as time went by, and most people were pretty open for discussions about dating and whatnot. I guess I didn't know all 120 other members, plus dozens of staff & volunteer's dating habits, but I did get to know the vast majority of them. Is that what you meant? Being on a summer-long national tour gets pretty intimate in the sense that you sleep, eat, shower, rehearse, perform, have free time with, etc. other people constantly. Sexual preferences and dating becomes apparent either in conversations about boyfriends/girlfriends, or seeing members (or staff) hookup throughout the season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted January 27, 2014 Author Share Posted January 27, 2014 Nah nothing as specific as sexual preference with corps members Doug. Just any type of wrong impressions such as lazy, stuck up, psycho, hard ###, anti (pick one), etc, etc. The sexual preference part only came up on DCP and my face to face conversions with my friend. Just used it as an example. sorry for any confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUARDLING Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) IMO.....as far as sexual preference ( so this can be put to bed so to speak finally ) People are far more tolerant and excepting than ever....no one cares or at least majority doesn't .IMO.... I think those who do are far more in the minority. NOW, that aside. 1st impressions in ANY situation can and are very important IMO. do people judge to fast..sure....wrong impressions.....of course at times , BUT also social media which many frequent has given clues on many people. Look at those fired in other walks of life because they feel they can say anything they choose on social media. Kids have been sent home from tour for rants on facebook , tweets etc etc. ..Social meadia can be a great thing for many reasons and deadly for some. Ive seen it dozens of times. I do think 1st impressions are very important and I do think the person making the impression needs to realize how important they are......good practice for the real world.................can 1st impressions fool people though? YES, but usually the real personality comes out and pretty fast. Edited January 27, 2014 by GUARDLING Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRASSO Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) Nah nothing as specific as sexual preference with corps members Doug. Just any type of wrong impressions such as lazy, stuck up, psycho, hard ###, anti (pick one), etc, etc. The sexual preference part only came up on DCP and my face to face conversions with my friend. Just used it as an example. sorry for any confusion. initial impressions work both ways in that sometimes we have an initial first impression on a person that is positive but later we find out that it was all hot air with that person. Or we gave them the benefit of the doubt initially as being hard working, honest, have integrity, but later we find ou that they were lazy, or have little to no integrity, are, a psycho, etc or whatever. First impressions are just that.. first impressions. Only later can it be determined if it was all talk, but no action too. Or their words did not match up well with their actions, and we find ou later that they really were a phony from the very beginning. So it cuts both ways... sometimes our negative first impressions were premature, and that person wasn't so bad afterall. Only time will really tell which was was the lasting and more accurate impression that person left with us it seems to me.. Edited January 27, 2014 by BRASSO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted January 27, 2014 Author Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) Good point on false positive first impressions Brasso. We had a guy show up to our corps one night with a Cabs jacket when we were trying to break top 10. Thought it was great as he talked the talk but after he disappeared a few weeks later we wondered if he was Cabs material why did he want to join us so bad..... if the jacket was his... and did we got our horn back. LOL - DC first impressions helped me break up with my first girlfriend. She met one of our tymp players who had a nickname of "Wolfie" cuz he looked like a shaggy version of the Wolfman. Scary ### looking guy who would give you the shirt off his back. She didn't like him.... I told her he acted more Christian than her "My beliefs are better than yours friends".... and I was counting the days until we would go to colleges 250 miles apart. Thanks for starting this out guys..... Edited January 27, 2014 by JimF-LowBari 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lincoln Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) First impressions are just that.. first impressions. To add to this, don't equate anything you can learn about social interaction from people on the internet. Edited January 27, 2014 by LincolnV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRASSO Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 To add to this, don't equate anything you can learn about social interaction from people on the internet. Agree. Or what we see and hear on TV daily for that matter too. Some of the people, views, we see amd hear on TV can be non representaive on what we encounter in our daily lives with real people who live in the real world that we all personally move in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.