I will not be outdone by other Drum Corps Internet Trolls (I own VMAPA.org)

[scheherazadesghost]

9 minutes ago, DSpruce said:

The org is rebuilding the contact list via this https://www2.scvanguard.org/MySCV/

 

the old contact list is full of errors they don’t use it. Newsletters are sent to those who sign up for them and posted to the site, sporadically in tough times indeed 

I'm aware of and applaud the rebuild. I know the time and effort that minimal but dedicated volunteers are putting in. I appreciate that part.

Doesn't change anything else I said. Again, the focus on mechanical fixes will only get this group so far.

As I've said, I've rescinded my trust for this organization to safeguard my personal information for reasons I've thoroughly outlined here and elsewhere. I get no pleasure from that, only a stronger sense of safety and wellbeing. I hate that those things are in conflict.

[greg_orangecounty]

31 minutes ago, scheherazadesghost said:

I was being truthful about the fact that we all need love, and some people get that as alum within our drum corps. If you're reading that as rude, then you're missing the subtext here that I never felt "loved" in a healthy way in our corps. Neither did many of the alum I've spoken to.

I understand you had a negative experience in Santa Clara and I'm sorry that happened.  It never should have.  

That said, I feel many of your posts are out of balance and painted with too broad a brush regarding the organization.  Your experience was your experience and your feelings about it can't be disputed.  But I must take issue when you say "many of the alum I have spoken to" in the context of a negative experience.  For 50 years I've know Santa Clara Alums - they're family friends - and not just from one generation. Their accounts of their time there are nothing as you describe - not even close.

Again, I believe you, but I also believe you paint with too broad a brush when you speak of experiences other than your own. 

[scheherazadesghost]

19 minutes ago, greg_orangecounty said:

I understand you had a negative experience in Santa Clara and I'm sorry that happened.  It never should have.  

That said, I feel many of your posts are out of balance and painted with too broad a brush regarding the organization.  Your experience was your experience and your feelings about it can't be disputed.  But I must take issue when you say "many of the alum I have spoken to" in the context of a negative experience.  For 50 years I've know Santa Clara Alums - they're family friends - and not just from one generation. Their accounts of their time there are nothing as you describe - not even close.

Again, I believe you, but I also believe you paint with too broad a brush when you speak of experiences other than your own. 

I welcome people to speak of their positive experiences with the corps. I never deny those to be true.

Nor do I deny that they exist alongside incredibly humiliating and terrible ones. My numbers, which I've listed in this thread and across other platforms (and sent to Vanguard and DCI) don't lie though. 14 abused, 16 that I've spoken to overall about abuse. Most of them have pretty negative stuff to share. Is 14 not enough to call "many?" 1 is too many for me.

My access to alum with positive experiences is nearly always blocked the second they realize who I am or I tell them what I went through. I get it. It's tough to hear. But I guarantee it was tougher to go through and tougher to recover from than it is for any of them to hear it. And yet, I still try because of my love of the organization. But when those blocks happen, they aren't accepting the whole me, so I don't feel welcome. How is that on me when they get to experience the riches of "family," belonging, and mutual care/trust?

Their positive and my negative experiences coexisted when I marched and I was silenced while their stories were held aloft as the epitome of how things should be. I get it. But that has continued to happen and as a result we've seen the legacy of abuse continue. I wouldn't care nearly as much if that was not the case.

Correcting me on my take of the organization and the alumni within it is pretty rich. I can only begin to accept that kind of feedback from fellow alum. Any of them could have contacted me at any time after I came forward with my letter. None of them did.

[Hirsbrunner]

My time at SCV was nothing but positive experiences. For me at the time. Not that drum corps is easy, but I was in the “in-crowd” as a member and did my job as a member. It was nothing but a positive experience for me at the time.

 

But as the years pass that is something I have reflected on and, in that aspect, regret standing by in the culture as it was. I felt a part of the family then and still do. Looking back, there were so many members that were shut out, demeaned by staff and fellow members, and borderline if not worse hazed and abused. Every year I marched there were issues, that everyone overlooked or the corps would slightly handle and then everyone went about their way. 

Though I do not always agree with some of the stances Mr. Lesher and Ms. Ghost have regarding what needs to be done, I value their passion and attempt to get something to change for the better of the organization. Mr. Lesher particularly takes things much farther than I am comfortable with. I find the current BOD has made poor decisions the last 12 ish years in terms of who they choose to employ, and are terrible at decision making when it comes to PR (and apparently money management). I find the alumni association to be as equally as cliqueish and manipulative as the member experience was. I still try to participate as I can in spite of this. 

 

For me all of this is not black and white. This culture improved noticeably every year, and it seemed to continue to do so after my time. The alumni association has been doing some amazing things lately. Especially the amount of support and programs they have put into effect this summer to support members at other corps who would have marched SCV this summer. 
 

I don’t know what the answers to the current problems are. IMO considerable reflection and change are needed. It is discouraging to see the board circle the wagons and and essentially adopt a “my way or the highway” silencing attitude in response to any concerns, and in the same breath ask for constant positivity and monetary support. That’s how they’ve always been: zero transparency in the name of controlling the situation (poorly). 
 

My only solution is selectively support the alumni association and VMAPA when they propose good planning going forward. And if they don’t (most of VMAPA’s planning and announcements lately), then I’ll abstain from contributing my time or resources. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by Hirsbrunner

[scheherazadesghost]

10 minutes ago, Hirsbrunner said:

My time at SCV was nothing but positive experiences. For me at the time. Not that drum corps is easy, but I was in the “in-crowd” as a member and did my job as a member. It was nothing but a positive experience for me at the time.

 

But as the years pass that is something I have reflected on and, in that aspect, regret standing by in the culture as it was. I felt a part of the family then and still do. Looking back, there were so many members that were shut out, demeaned by staff and fellow members, and borderline if not worse hazed and abused. Every year I marched there were issues, that everyone overlooked or the corps would slightly handle and then everyone went about their way. 

Though I do not always agree with some of the stances Mr. Lesher and Ms. Ghost have regarding what needs to be done, I value their passion and attempt to get something to change for the better of the organization. Mr. Lesher particularly takes things much farther than I am comfortable with. I find the current BOD has made poor decisions the last 12 ish years in terms of who they choose to employ, and are terrible at decision making when it comes to PR (and apparently money management). I find the alumni association to be as equally as cliqueish and manipulative as the member experience was. I still try to participate as I can in spite of this. 

 

For me all of this is not black and white. This culture improved noticeably every year, and it seemed to continue to do so after my time. The alumni association has been doing some amazing things lately. Especially the amount of support and programs they have put into effect this summer to support members at other corps who would have marched SCV this summer. 
 

I don’t know what the answers to the current problems are. IMO considerable reflection and change are needed. It is discouraging to see the board circle the wagons and and essentially adopt a “my way or the highway” silencing attitude in response to any concerns, and in the same breath ask for constant positivity and monetary support. That’s how they’ve always been: zero transparency in the name of controlling the situation (poorly). 
 

My only solution is selectively support the alumni association and VMAPA when they propose good planning going forward. And if they don’t (most of VMAPA’s planning and announcements lately), then I’ll abstain from contributing my time or resources. 

It is most excellent to read your calm, collected words here again, fellow alum, thank you.

I think I've outlined my experiences within the current alumni association so I won't counter anything you've said here. I continue to welcome respectful dialogue from any alum who wishes to understand my perspective more.

Thanks again for being here.

[greg_orangecounty]

36 minutes ago, scheherazadesghost said:

Correcting me on my take of the organization and the alumni within it is pretty rich. I can only begin to accept that kind of feedback from fellow alum. 

You don't need to accept it.  I didn't expect you to.  I addressed it to you because you post on the subject constantly and publicly.  Standing up for victims, which you claim to do is admirable.  I salute you!  However, it is also my belief your overall narrative is a distortion and I don't have to be an alum of the Santa Clara Vanguard to believe that. 

 

[scheherazadesghost]

24 minutes ago, greg_orangecounty said:

You don't need to accept it.  I didn't expect you to.  I addressed it to you because you post on the subject constantly and publicly.  Standing up for victims, which you claim to do is admirable.  I salute you!  However, it is also my belief your overall narrative is a distortion and I don't have to be an alum of the Santa Clara Vanguard to believe that.

Thank you. And yes. We don't have to agree.

Edit to add: Just please keep in mind that I have literally no incentive to lie or exaggerate my reports. The alum already mostly hate me and I harbor no beliefs that they want me around. I'm simply trying to find common ground between reporters and those who refuse to believe and accept them back into the fold. That's the only way this corps will improve sustainably, IMHO. What good would it do for me to lie and exaggerate and then for that to be found out after investigations?

Edited August 5, 2023 by scheherazadesghost

[DSpruce]

“Correcting me on my take of the organization and the alumni within it is pretty rich. I can only begin to accept that kind of feedback from fellow alum. Any of them could have contacted me at any time after I came forward with my letter. None of them did.“

Generally people didn’t know about this until after scva’s 2024 season was terminated and even then few were aware. It was not clear how to contact. The rest of the timeline has been described

[DSpruce]

Objecting to the statement “the alumni mostly hate me”. Find this not factual and rude 

[scheherazadesghost]

15 minutes ago, DSpruce said:

“Correcting me on my take of the organization and the alumni within it is pretty rich. I can only begin to accept that kind of feedback from fellow alum. Any of them could have contacted me at any time after I came forward with my letter. None of them did.“

Generally people didn’t know about this until after scva’s 2024 season was terminated and even then few were aware. It was not clear how to contact. The rest of the timeline has been described

Letter was released a year and some change prior on a major safeguarding platform for drum corps and here, after I informed the board of my intentions. The board and leadership also released the letter internally to staff around the start of the 2022 season. I attempted to release on reddit but the post was immediately hidden and buried.

The board has had my contact information that whole time, as well as the alum directory at the link you posted earlier today. I'm also on LinkedIn and welcome anyone to find me there. A new alum just found me there earlier today.

All that said, I didn't expect to be contacted by alum. After the way the board handled it, it was clear the information would be exploited for internal improvements at best because the actual care for a reporter whose story had been corroborated was handled coldly, like I was some kind of threat. Something to be feared, rather than what I actually am. Meanwhile, the former CEO referred to my story as "someone who had a bad time" publicly and to the 2022 corps leadership, not even an "alum." Just "someone."

Doesn't mean it didn't hurt. And even then, alum asked one of my confirmed abusers to be on the 2003 retrospective video just a few months back? This organization has a lot of work to do in order to center and care for its own victims. I've been ready to help this whole time, but I'm treated like a threat by leadership and alum.