10 Commandments for Drum Corps Parents

[84skyrydr]

Fantastic, well thought out "article". Also members, if you are approached by a 40ish, white guy with blond hair and a 10 year old in a Southwind tour jacket and you need help in anyway, ASK ME. Also, if I offer to get you something at the concessions, don't hesitate to get what you want. It is my way of payoing forward. Everyone can use some help in strange places and I will be there to help if neded. Mainly this will be in Madison, Rockford and the show after in Illinois, my son wants to catch Southwind and I will get him there. Good luck to all, and remember a placement and a score are merely that, it isn't what the judges think of you, it is what you think and the memories will last forever.

[Michael Boo]

Calling Mr. Boo to this thread, I see a great dci.org article. Awesome post!

Gee, I was thinking the exact same thing. What a shame (for me) that this wasn't a Fanfare column. If anyone would love to follow up on this, I'd love to hear from you.

She hit it right on the head. All parents should read this.

Mike

boomike@dci.org

[OldTwo]

Allow me to add a bit of wisdom given me in my first year of corps parent-dom, by another, more seasoned, corps parent: Don't let your feelings get hurt when you take half a day off, drive two hours and spend a sizable chunk of your discretionary income to attend a show where your kid is performing, only to find that your kid appears to barely recognize you, doesn't necessarily want to sit with you in the stands and has no inclination whatsoever to leave with you for a "real meal", "real bed" or private shower with hot and cold running water.

All kids are different, of course, but we parents need to remember that while we've been missing that kid all summer, he/she has been growing intensely close to the other members of his/her corps. They have become a new family, which is as it should be. Just as importantly, understand that your kid is FOCUSED on the corp's show, also as it should be. Sadly, for us, we are a distraction. The closer it is to Finals Week, the truer this will be.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't attend drum corps shows!! On the contrary, when the season is over, our loving children will gradually start to notice us again, and we will share many memories of the season past, if we were there to enjoy and be part of it as it happened.

Again, every kid, every corps, every family is different so maybe this doesn't apply to all. Just be sensitive to the issue, let your kid set his/her limits, and don't be hurt if that means all you get for now is a quick smile and a wave. It will all come back to you when the season is over.

[MAV]

Good morning:

PERFECT! Great job! And much more eloquent than the Touring Parent's Corps Pledge I wrote in 1996. For fun I went back and looked it up.

Last night I volunteered to help out on tour with the SCVanguard Cadets (all tours but the long Rocky Mt. one). Talking to Head Cook Mom, she was saying it might get cramped in the RV and if it came down to it, would I mind traveling on the bus. Well, no problem here, but you should have seen my daughter's

face fall to the floor when I hugged her and told her the "good" news. This morning, she made me take Touring Parent's Pledge that goes something like this -

I do solemnly swear....ok I'm laughing but I'm swearing anyway...that I will to the best of my ability:

1. Never embarrass my child on tour.

2. Never call her names of endearment (Lil' Punkin and BooBoo Bunny are out of the question)

3. Only speak when spoken to first

4. Always travel on the "other" bus

5. Never wear mismatched clothes, sleeveless tops, or old fogie shoes.

6. there is no number six

7. Never appear to be having a better time than she

8. Never apply the guilt unless I want a look to kill

9. Restrain myself from chatting with the members

10. Never wink, clap, point, or call her name out loud in a group setting.

If I promise to adhere to all these conditions, in return, my child promises to:

1. Take my money

2. Give me a secret hug on the third day

3. Ask for more money

4. Allow me to clap for the group at a show as long as two or more moms are doing the same thing.

5. Let me do laundry

6. Nod in approvement if I sew up flags

7. Hold her sweater, purse, etc.

8. Possibly acknowledge me at the end of tour

9. Have me make a special run for treats

10. Ask for even more money

I do this because I love my daughter and want the experience to be great. Finally, I promise to lose my ego, swallow my pride, and grow currency on the backyard elm. So-- help me God.

[bstar82]

I like this subject. For the fact I don't have children marching but being involved for 30 years now, the one piece of advice I would like to add is don't be a typical soccer/ T ball/ any sports parent. Have trust in the instructional staff in their decision making. I have heard way too much of " I don't know why my my son/daughter isn't the soloist or featured performer" kind of statements being uttered at camps. This is a team effort from the Director all the way down to the volunteer who can help out once a year. I heard one parent last year complain at both SA sessions that their kid wasn't put in the drill enough in front for everybody to see. WTF?? I can't tell you how hard it was for me to bite my tongue during this corps performances.

[AnnouncerMonkey]

This is possibly the most useful and insightful post I've ever read on this board. I'd love to know how many times this post is printed and stuck on refrigerator doors in kitchens around the country. Or how many of us said to ourselves as we read it, "...I wish my parents would have been like her..."

Michael...did you hear from her? Mom...please write to one of us!

Dan Potter

FieldPass@dci.org

Michael Boo

boomike@dci.org

[KeepOnFoodTruckin]

Thank you all very much for the kind comments and for the wisdom you have added. I do think I've grown along with her from last year to this one and I think a lot of folks made valid points and ones that will help me along too. I do tend to stand and scream and holler when her corps finished but I can use the gentle reminder to be a good fan in the stands. It's possible that I may have been heard making comments about her having a very exposed marching spot and pointing her out to friends. Ok, I'm guilty. Proud, but guilty.

I really laughed at the pledge from Mav, too. I'm printing out a fresh sheet of $20s on the color printer as we speak to pass on to my "snickerdoodle." The concept of making a huge effort ignored that OldTwo referenced really hit home. I think every parent has experienced that to a degree. I suppose it's part of growing up and pulling away.

Maybe I'm just lucky but my kid was agenerally happy to see me on tour and made an effort to sit down with me at meal time or hug me and holler "hi mom" as she passed by on a water break. I stayed busy and had a great time watching them. It did remind me of a conversation with my own mom who told me "they act like that so you don't mind pushing them out of the nest."

Now someone just tell me to chill out since she just cut off her beautiful shoulder-length hair into a pixie cut so it will fit under her helmet. It's just hair right? It grows back.

And Dan, I wrote Michael. Working on a few other concepts. Thanks. I'm honored to even be considered.

D

[zachariaswmb]

Good morning:

PERFECT! Great job! And much more eloquent than the Touring Parent's Corps Pledge I wrote in 1996. For fun I went back and looked it up.

Last night I volunteered to help out on tour with the SCVanguard Cadets (all tours but the long Rocky Mt. one). Talking to Head Cook Mom, she was saying it might get cramped in the RV and if it came down to it, would I mind traveling on the bus. Well, no problem here, but you should have seen my daughter's

face fall to the floor when I hugged her and told her the "good" news. This morning, she made me take Touring Parent's Pledge that goes something like this -

I do solemnly swear....ok I'm laughing but I'm swearing anyway...that I will to the best of my ability:

1. Never embarrass my child on tour.

2. Never call her names of endearment (Lil' Punkin and BooBoo Bunny are out of the question)

3. Only speak when spoken to first

4. Always travel on the "other" bus

5. Never wear mismatched clothes, sleeveless tops, or old fogie shoes.

6. there is no number six

7. Never appear to be having a better time than she

8. Never apply the guilt unless I want a look to kill

9. Restrain myself from chatting with the members

10. Never wink, clap, point, or call her name out loud in a group setting.

If I promise to adhere to all these conditions, in return, my child promises to:

1. Take my money

2. Give me a secret hug on the third day

3. Ask for more money

4. Allow me to clap for the group at a show as long as two or more moms are doing the same thing.

5. Let me do laundry

6. Nod in approvement if I sew up flags

7. Hold her sweater, purse, etc.

8. Possibly acknowledge me at the end of tour

9. Have me make a special run for treats

10. Ask for even more money

I do this because I love my daughter and want the experience to be great. Finally, I promise to lose my ego, swallow my pride, and grow currency on the backyard elm. So-- help me God.

Bahahahahahaha! Love it!

[bishtom]

This is possibly the most useful and insightful post I've ever read on this board. I'd love to know how many times this post is printed and stuck on refrigerator doors in kitchens around the country. Or how many of us said to ourselves as we read it, "...I wish my parents would have been like her..."

Michael...did you hear from her? Mom...please write to one of us!

Dan Potter

FieldPass@dci.org

Michael Boo

boomike@dci.org

That would also be great to post at the food truck!

[surfers71]

Fantastic!!!! a way to continue the drum corps tradition long after you age out... VOLUNTEER! Great post!!!!!! I loved the one about not calling them pet names...( I have been guilty of that..but he only gives me that look...I'll try harder not to do this in the future)

I learned to volunteer from my dad who drove a bus, cooked meals..fixed brass instruments..found a way to always be funny and helpful to everyone. I think he even enjoyed having the entire guard sleep at our house before the last show (1970something) every year! ( for like over 8 or so years)

I now volunteer as a guard tech, sew costumes, flags and uniforms...even maybe to an extreme (as some people around here would say) But I am so happy that I am able to enjoy having my son involved in the one activity that I did at his age (back in the 70's)we always have lots to talk about...

now my question...how can we entice MORE volunteerism..how can we have more parents to committ to helping out a corps!??? Even for just a little of their time. I know that having a extra hand in many tasks can make the tasks less exhausting. I have found some of the best people helping out and made instant friends with many of them..

again thank you for the great read! :)