Non Drum Corps Spouses...How do we explain what we did

[stoods59]

I'm somewhat fortunate...my wife can at least appreciate when we do and WHY we do it...she's even watched some shows on DVD (actually likes 88 SCV musically)

She canNOT, however, understand the sheer "I-can-die-happy/my-ears-are-bleeding" thrill we get sitting 3 feet from the battery during a victory concert....

Great answer! Took my wife to a show. She never marched, never even heard of it.She loved it 20 years ago and still does. Now she gets upset if there is a show close by and I have to work. She will call up one of my old corps buddies and go with them. She also understands the 'bond' that was formed years ago by spending your summers together trying to perfect something. She's a keeper!

[elphaba01]

My personal favorite!

"Ziggy Rules":

My "Personal Fave" is the King, (It is lighter than the Ultratone) and BOTH horns were designed by the "Master": Ziggy Kanstul.

One way to avoid the "I can't explain drum corps to my spouse" problem is to "Stay Single"...

Elphaba

WWW

[cabalumnidrummer]

I am one of the fortunate ones. I met my wife in drum corps, when we were both teaching a standstill corps in the late 1960's-early 70's. She has always been involved as a fan and/or member instructor. To this day she supports my 'obsession' and looks forward to each new season of shows. Now, our daughter is in the Cabs, so she has even more reason to go.

Trying to explain to non-drum corps friends and acquaintances can be a challenge also. Quick story -- I have been buying drum equipment for years from a local drum store here in Queens. Though I've dealt with the owner for a long time, he had never seen us perform, and really had little idea as to just where the heads, sticks and other items had been put to use. Last fall I decided to give him a copy of the DCA Alumni Classic video of us to view.

All I can say is, when he finally got to view it, he was dumbfounded. He's a drummer himself (set), but in his words he "Had never, ever seen anything like it! It was just amazing! and the sound of the brass was incredible!" I think I converted him. I'm hoping to get him to a live show this season.

[DMCK]

My fiance' wasn't in drum corps, but she's a musician and appreciated it. I met her at a party and, of course, instead of trying to hook up I instead recruited her for drum corps. Wow. I'm'a complete nerd.

It worked. We marched together 04-07, and now even though I'm off doing my own thing with Fusion she's still with Bush...helping to run the corps as a member of the administration.

She totally gets it and understands that sometimes it SUCKS (especially now that we're with different teams), but it's worth it.

[Cabsleadbari79]

I met my wife in Jr Corps when she was 10 and I was 12, don’t get crazy we started going out when she was 19. She aged out in 79 when I joined the Cabs which by the way was the year we were married. Boy was she ###### because she could not march we were still a all male corps. The next 4 years were not very pleasant, but when Coz created women in 82 she was one of the first to sign up. The next 4 years were great we were back on the field together with two undefeated season it couldn’t get better.

But as they say all good things come to an end, she wanted to start the family and a year later our son was born. Now we just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary and I only hear every few days isn’t 41 years enough.

[Bucbari]

but when Coz created women in 82 she was one of the first to sign up. The next 4 years were great we were back on the field together with two undefeated season it couldn’t get better.

But as they say all good things come to an end, she wanted to start the family and a year later our son was born. Now we just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary and I only hear every few days isn’t 41 years enough.

Alan, you will not find a person, outside of the Cabs family that respects James Costello more then I do but I wasn't aware that he "created women". I know he's a God in the drum corps community I just wasn't aware that his deification extended to more secular activities. Please forgive me.

Edited May 13, 2008 by Bucbari

[skybusmgr]

Wife H A T E S it.

Doesn't understand why a grown man wants to wear funny outfits and march around.

H A T E S me practicing around the house.

H A T E S me being on the phone booking parades and talking to other members.

H A T E S me being away all weekend.

H A T E S it when I break out the drumcorps CDs and DVDs at home and in the car

H A T E S that I ignore her Honey-Do list during the summer months.

H A T E S that I stare at the pretty girls in the color guard.

But I do it anyway and she is still here.....there......somewhere....you know what I mean!!!!

Best Advice -- Marry someone who likes doing the things you like doing.

ps Her dogs hate it too and they bite!!!!

Edited May 13, 2008 by skybusmgr

[cin4057]

I tried this plan. To celebrate my 50th birthday, I decided to jump back into drum corps. I am in the hornline and my wife showed up for one hot summer rehearsal just in time for coordination with the battery and color guard. Now, the guard was mainly comprised of college age women and because of the hot weather they were "lightly" attired. Many sported some impressive tatoos and various body piercings. After rehearsal, my wife commented that upon viewing the color guard she wasn't too happy about me participating with the corps. I had to laugh and tell here that I'm quite invisible to the fine ladies in the guard. Their attentions are appropriately concentrated elsewhere.

Ultimately, my wife is proud of my participation. But, she doesn't understand or appreciate the time commitment and why one of my age would want to do this. I have frequently received the advise that "It's time to grow up and quit running around a field with people half my age." She mistakenly thinks that my jump back into corps is some manifestation of a mid-life crisis. This point of view, which I've seen expressed by other young people in these forums, is really off the mark.

****It's not about re-living the past, it is absolutely about living for the present and staying alive and active.******

This is the exact reason I joined 4 years ago at the age of 47.

My family doesn't get why I do this weird thing called drum corps.

I never had the chance to march when I was younger. But I came to realize

after loosing Dad.

Life is to darn short. Make the most of it.

But the one thing my family does agree on, is that they like me as I am now, better than how I was before drum corps.

I'm happy! I'm motivated! I'm embracing life and pushing myself to learn new things!

The way I see it, is I'm finally back where I was meant to be. In drum corps, back with my family.

[Philadelphia Brass]

Alright I just put the wife to bed. Full explanation I had a great black and white picture of the Troopers for a desktop wall paper. She stated it was bleak and depressing.

So how do we explain to our new spouses...I've been married a month...just what exactly we did and why we marched and why it has such a hold on our lives

BTW....She replaced it with tulips

I was once asked that very question from my first wife (a non drumcorps person) when thought out the best way that i could explain it was like this:

In my youth i spent every winter practicing and cramped halls and gym floors taking away my weekends and normal wends day nights to play music and learn drill. as the summer came i dedicated my whole summer to be crammed into a bus and travel the country where i slept on Gym floors and did drill in the heat of summer and sometimes rain. she would ask "was it worth it?" and without hesitation i would say yes. because it was with my brothers and sisters who i felt the most close to and still to this day i would move heaven and earth to help if they were in trouble. the best comparison i could use is that we are carny folk. we share the same heritage but we took the field of competition like a soldier would take the field of battle. we would wear our colors like a badge of honor and even if we took last place from a bad show we would still hold our heads high knowing that the other corps wouldn't down us, instead they would show the same respect as we shown them for winning. IN short we are closer than our own family and will always be a part of a drum corps family.

[Big Bad Bari]

I was once asked that very question from my first wife (a non drumcorps person) when thought out the best way that i could explain it was like this:

In my youth i spent every winter practicing and cramped halls and gym floors taking away my weekends and normal wends day nights to play music and learn drill. as the summer came i dedicated my whole summer to be crammed into a bus and travel the country where i slept on Gym floors and did drill in the heat of summer and sometimes rain. she would ask "was it worth it?" and without hesitation i would say yes. because it was with my brothers and sisters who i felt the most close to and still to this day i would move heaven and earth to help if they were in trouble. the best comparison i could use is that we are carny folk. we share the same heritage but we took the field of competition like a soldier would take the field of battle. we would wear our colors like a badge of honor and even if we took last place from a bad show we would still hold our heads high knowing that the other corps wouldn't down us, instead they would show the same respect as we shown them for winning. IN short we are closer than our own family and will always be a part of a drum corps family.