2000Cadet Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I think the 3 presidents would find this all very declamatory aplenty ! DECLAMATORY!!! https://www.youtube....h?v=7ANxrbjjHhI ...$1 for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaddyt Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 "Declamatory" is the new buzzword. Henceforth, it will take over for "aplenty". Take note Chaddyt. Over-ruled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortAndFast Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 The Cadets show has a couple of flaws that can be fixed in a week, and it will be one of the most profound and moving drum corps shows in years. (These are rudimentary directorial decisions that are shockingly obvious to anyone who’s ever directed anything.) 1) Are we supposed to like this narrator kid or hate him? Is he pompous and grandstanding or is he humble and one of us? Does he do something likable and self-effacing right off so that he becomes the underdog and we love him, or is he a preaching, finger pointing, declamatory, accusatory, villainous authority figure? I recommend you add a warm bit of business at the top so that the audience warms to him immediately. If you can’t think of an underdog bit of business for him you have no directing experience and should pack it in. 2) Put the narrator in jeans and a t-shirt. Right now he looks like some kind of Baptist preacher wearing a chenille unitard. It’s just weird. If it's a uniform, make it look like the traditional uniform. Otherwise we can't tell what he's wearing or why. It doesn’t look like the others’ uniforms. He doesn’t march in the show or play an instrument. If you want to make appear to be a part of the corps, then he should wear the quintessential Cadets uniform. Right now it looks like a monochromatic silken, artsy wrap . Not the right vibe at all. I suggest putting him in the classic marching uniform of previous years, which might harken back to Lincoln’s era in the civil war, and give it a timeless appeal that alludes to the 1860’s. 3) Get rid of that book—it looks like a bible. There’s no leather bound book with the speeches of Lincoln, Roosevelt and Kennedy in one volume. Why not have the kid be reading this from his cell phone or from a kindle? The book makes him look like an evangelist. And it puts an arcane spin on these words that should resonate with their immediacy. Make it ring with immediacy. 4) Get rid of the declamatory artifice. He’s not William Warfield. He’s not Tom Hanks. Skip the declamatory bologna. It rings false. He should read it as himself. If he reads it as himself, then the truth will emerge in the most powerful way. We want to see the human truth that he bring to these words by his being distinctly himself. That’s profound and real. Not false and trumped up. We love him and want to see him make sense of it in his own voice. 5) Keep him on the platform. His constantly exiting and re-entering begs the question, is he leaving to get a snack? What better thing does he have to do than be here with the corps, and us watching it? His constantly exiting and re-entering make us wonder what’s under that platform and what he’s so in a hurry to do. He should share it with us. He should help us make it all make sense. Maybe this whole show is coming from the narrator’s mind. Sit down. Say the words. Make them your own. Be present in the moment. Watch the corps. Find something on the kindle, get up and speak when it’s your time. Discover it in the moment. That’s truthful, simple and profound. 6) The rhythm of the words is tied to the meter of the music, we get it, but becomes mechanical and declamatory when he does this. The narrator should have full improvisational leeway with the rhythm. Otherwise it’s canned, trumped up, stilted and he becomes declamatory and the spontaneity and honesty get flushed down the toilet. Yuck. 7) How does the action on the field tie in thematically with the speeches? It doesn’t really. So at the end of each segment, the narrator can simply place a flag in a stand at the center on the 50. The Union flag of 1860. The WPA flag. And a flag with the NASA logo for Kennedy. And then stand proudly with the flags at the end. Simple. This helps tie the action on the field with the Narrator’s commentary, which, without this small tie-in would be almost completely separate. At the end maybe he could could present the flags. Watching William Warfield perform The Lincoln Portrait live after his Grammy win, I was a little bit shocked how declamatory his style was. THIS IS WHAT LINCOLN SAID! Jeez. There was strength which was important, yes, but no vulnerability. Warfield has an automatic underdog status that others just don't. When a white guy starts declaiming without any vulnerability, he instantly becomes "the man." Ugh. I have to say, I really hope that they don't take some of this advice. Lincoln Portrait is not usually read by a guy in jeans and a t-shirt reading off his iPhone, and it seems disrespectful to Copland's music to go in that direction. There's pretty much no sense in which the text in LP is not "declamatory". We have no relationship with the narrator as a person, he's neither hero nor villain. Lincoln is the hero and the narrator is telling us about him. I think the Cadets wisely stayed close to the source material here. I like your #7 suggestion to give the narrator something to do visually (the era-specific flags are a good suggestion) besides just holding a book. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theCHEZman Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Shellfish aside, I think your point #7 is interesting. Having him represent each era whether with a flag, or change of clothing. Perhaps this is in the works since everyone will be changing/modifying uniforms for each section. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skevinp Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Over-ruled. Agreed. Aplenty will have opportunities to be used aplenty. Declamatory just doesn't have the legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2000Cadet Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Agreed. Aplenty will have opportunities to be used aplenty. Declamatory just doesn't have the legs. Ok ok. Aplenty it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theCHEZman Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 Congrats Cadets! My guys at the show tonight said you were INCREDIBLE across the board even with a judging slate that doesn't love Cadets. Keep rockin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallace Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I find the text of Lincoln Portrait to be expository not declamatory. It sounds to me as if Brutus has a hanker for a bowl of chowder. On to bigger and better things, I'm really enjoying the brass' improvement this year. I thought they were wonderful last year, but this group is special. Big sound! Congratulations to the guard tonight. Crushed the competition with an unfriendly judging panel. A good omen for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutus Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I think you're being nitpicky for the sake of being nitpicky. Everyone's a professional critic I guess. I think he's doing a phenomenal job and kudos to the Cadets for finding someone this talented. I'm talking about the show content and direction, not about the "phenomenal" performers. This isn't Dance Moms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutus Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I have to say, I really hope that they don't take some of this advice. Lincoln Portrait is not usually read by a guy in jeans and a t-shirt reading off his iPhone, and it seems disrespectful to Copland's music to go in that direction. There's pretty much no sense in which the text in LP is not "declamatory". We have no relationship with the narrator as a person, he's neither hero nor villain. Lincoln is the hero and the narrator is telling us about him. I think the Cadets wisely stayed close to the source material here. I like your #7 suggestion to give the narrator something to do visually (the era-specific flags are a good suggestion) besides just holding a book. I have to say, I really hope that they don't take some of this advice. Lincoln Portrait is not usually read by a guy in jeans and a t-shirt reading off his iPhone, and it seems disrespectful to Copland's music to go in that direction. There's pretty much no sense in which the text in LP is not "declamatory". We have no relationship with the narrator as a person, he's neither hero nor villain. Lincoln is the hero and the narrator is telling us about him. I think the Cadets wisely stayed close to the source material here. I like your #7 suggestion to give the narrator something to do visually (the era-specific flags are a good suggestion) besides just holding a book. God help us. If you know anything about Lincoln, you know that he was not a loud aggressive orator. In the Lincoln Douglas debates, he was laughed at because he could barely be heard. Lincoln's words were profound and his delivery weak. The Lincoln Portrait is told from the narrator's point of view. It's about the narrator discovering what Lincoln said. It's about the narrator repeating Lincoln's words and discovering them for himself. Have you ever seen Lincoln Portrait performed live with orchestra? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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