Stu Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 (edited) What? Here is what you wrote: "For those of you so concerned with showers and the chance that someone might observe your pee pee and make you a sexual object - remember that straight men do this all the time and straight women do this all the time as do homosexuals." Well... if that is the case, homosexuals have a 'privilege' that heteros do not have as it applies to showers. Thus, your reasoning is a case for opening up co-ed showers within drum corps in the name of equality of privilege. Edited April 20, 2013 by Stu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lincoln Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Here is what you wrote: "For those of you so concerned with showers and the chance that someone might observe your pee pee and make you a sexual object - remember that straight men do this all the time and straight women do this all the time as do homosexuals." Well... if that is the case, homosexuals have a 'privilege' that heteros do not have as it applies to showers. Thus, your reasoning is a case for opening up co-ed showers within drum corps in the name of equality of privilege. Dios Mio.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deftguy Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 The questions about the showers come from an old fashioned, factually inaccurate and stereotypical assumption that gay people by their very nature are uncontrollable hedonists who can't control themselves when if they see another person of the same gender in anything less than a full suit of armor. Not true. Just because you're a dude and there's a gay dude in the locker room with you doesn't mean that person wants to jump your bones! And don't flatter yourself into thinking otherwise. The person's there to do a job just like you are. Don't assume they're checking out your junk just cause they're gay. Instead, assume that the person is as professional and serious as you are and will go about his/her business just like you would. Thank you for saying this. I was about to say the same thing. For me, I don't really care if somebody wants to stare at my junk. Doesn't bother me one bit, I am just that secure in my own skin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 (edited) I'll play. Thank you You freely state that you hetero guys check out women every chance you get. But there's a "fear" of a gay guy doing it to you? I'm in no position to speak for the female population, but you have to admit a bit of a double standard there. Is it possible women share the same fear of straight men checking them out that you do of gays? We as a society would be so pre-occupied with sexual harassment lawsuits if every "uncomfortable" instance was truly that big of a deal. But it isn't. First I never said every chance but I never spelled it out clearly either so my bad. For me personally I would feel uncomfortable having an gay person showering next to me if I didn't know them that well. Uncomfortable is a better word than fear for me but understand my earlier posts were meant to include what others might feel as well. And for some it might be fear but that's speaking for others. I'm sure there are some women who would be uncomfortible showing next to me or being checked out. I feel the ladies would have a right to be upset so not sure why a double standard. As for sexual harrassment lawsuits, let's just say you would be surprised what little could start an investigation (I work for Dept of Defense so go figure). Honestly, Jim. Assuming you were built like Ryan Gossling and a guy checked you out in the shower, how would that affect you aside from making you uncomfortable? (The same type of uncomfortable that I'm sure a ton of women have been able to tolerate with untold number of frat-boy leers.) Is there a problem with admitting something that would make you, me, everyone else uncomfortable? I feel like I was being honest in what I feel and get slammed for it. How can we have an honest open discussion if you get crap for bringing things to light. I'm pretty sure why I would feel uncomfortable but why the Hell should I share it if I get grief from it? As for women "tolerating" frat boy crap, that doesn't mean it didn't bother them a lot. Sure you'd like to tell my sister and some friends it's nothing. As you can tell I do care about others feelings, which led to the post that generated the BS storm. So a bunch of negative votes for being honest? Or for saying that being in a group shower is not the easier thing in the world for me? Edited April 21, 2013 by JimF-LowBari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 (edited) which doesn't include in the showers... I think is what he is saying. Well it started in the showers so I'm stuck there for now... :tongue:/> btw, generally making other people feel "uncomfortable" is harassment. And it doesn't matter if both sides think it's harrassment. If one person feels harrassed or even feels like they are put in an uncomfortable postion they can ask for action to be taken. First step is to tell (or have an authority figure) tell the person(s) to stop and then we go from there.... If you agree or not that is the law according to DoD. PS - Still waiting for a lawsuit from years ago when on church council and some teenagers said they felt uncomfortable with one youth group leader hugging them. Guy was told to knock it off and he went ballistic. Got second hand he was looking for a lawyer to sue us all for <laundry list of things>. Edited April 21, 2013 by JimF-LowBari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mello Dude Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 (edited) Well it started in the showers so I'm stuck there for now... :tongue:/>/>/> And it doesn't matter if both sides think it's harrassment. If one person feels harrassed or even feels like they are put in an uncomfortable postion they can ask for action to be taken. First step is to tell (or have an authority figure) tell the person(s) to stop and then we go from there.... If you agree or not that is the law according to DoD. PS - Still waiting for a lawsuit from years ago when on church council and some teenagers said they felt uncomfortable with one youth group leader hugging them. Guy was told to knock it off and he went ballistic. Got second hand he was looking for a lawyer to sue us all for <laundry list of things>. I was thinking this as well. All it takes is ONE lawsuit for this to become a major issue and possibly one less drum corps. Interesting thread talking about a taboo subject in drum corps. Personally, I was hit on by gay guys in and out of corps (this is just a fact of life in the arts FWIW) but it never became harassment (being hetero myself) I never really took offense about it, then again no one ever really stalked or harassed me. I mean really, had I thin skin about it I suppose I COULD have made issue with it...interesting topic. Edited April 21, 2013 by Mello Dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimF-LowBari Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 I was thinking this as well. All it takes is ONE lawsuit for this to become a major issue and possibly one less drum corps. Fear of a lawsuit was one reason why my old corps almost never restarted in the early 70s. Only way the (Sr) corps could get enough warm bodies was to open the ranks to minors and females. HUGE fear was two of the minors would get caught having sex or get pregnant on "corps time" and corps would be sued for <pick a reason>. And "Corps time" could include the minors going to practice early for a "nature walk". And we practiced on an island with plenty of trails. As many of us know defending against a frivilous(sp!) lawsuit or even winning a lawsuit can break the bank. I rode with 2 Board members and since I sat in the back with my mouth shut I heard a lot of things I probably should not have had. Still remember the line (and who said it): "So if little Billy and Susie get caught ###### while with us we can end up in court. What the #### are we gonna pay with.. a couple of flag poles and drumsticks?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRASSO Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Apparently you are the only one who is actually 'catching on' to my real view of the absurdity of this thread :doh:/> It has prompted me to now want to take a quick shower. Alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Other Mike Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 If someone wants to watch me wash my a##, enjoy yourself If you're checking me out: the water was COLD What I do hate is having to take a crap in a bathroom that has no walls around the toilet. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Dios Mio.... ¿No ves que estoy divirtiendo aquí? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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