Bluecoats, BD, and SA (TW: Sexual Assault)

[TRacer]

— SA still in DCI

— Physical abuse still in DCI

—  Mental & verbal abuse still in DCI. 
 

Time to close it all down as the “adults” cannot behave themselves. Let the corps get back to their community roots, march parades, and establish local circuits. 

[IllianaLancerContra]

1 hour ago, rmurrey74 said:

It’s pretty common that over 18 same sex members share a room when in dorms/hotels. 

We did both in HS & College band - 4 to a room, 2 to a bed

[rmurrey74]

1 minute ago, IllianaLancerContra said:

We did both in HS & College band - 4 to a room, 2 to a bed

Same. I shared a dorm in college probably like most here. 

[IllianaLancerContra]

42 minutes ago, scheherazadesghost said:

SoA now has the strongest policies regarding consent and rooming. They've been publicly available since before the season started.

And yes, while an investigation can totally do what @KVG_DC is suggesting... it is still at the expense of the victim-survivor always. That harsh reality is not good for us for so many reasons.

If you recall, one of the SoA members who was running Rookie Talent Night that led to the formal allegations had been contracted w/ BD for 2022 & BD pulled the contract. So BD may well have this in hand.   That doesn’t excuse BC.  
 

Also, w SoA the parents of the assaulted member had hired lawyers; that could have nudged the situation in the correct direction. 

[IllianaLancerContra]

4 minutes ago, rmurrey74 said:

Same. I shared a dorm in college probably like most here. 

Yes that too. 

[scheherazadesghost]

5 hours ago, IllianaLancerContra said:

If you recall, one of the SoA members who was running Rookie Talent Night that led to the formal allegations had been contracted w/ BD for 2022 & BD pulled the contract. So BD may well have this in hand.   That doesn’t excuse BC.  
 

Also, w SoA the parents of the assaulted member had hired lawyers; that could have nudged the situation in the correct direction. 

That's all good. No question.

Not all victim-survivors have such support systems or the capacity to even speak to their experiences enough to be taken seriously. I'm looking out for the absolutely most vulnerable.

Edited July 18, 2023 by scheherazadesghost
deleted a repeat word

[Mello Dude]

2 minutes ago, scheherazadesghost said:

Whoa. Perhaps I should've said disagree. I'm not trying to escalate here, but rather stand firmly on my own two feet as a victim-survivor of abuse in the activity myself who has supported other victim-survivors for the last two years.

That was not a threat. It was intended as a "universal you" because silencing, ignoring, and disagreeing with victim-survivors is what has gotten the activity to the current state it's in. Doing so risks perpetuating the worst outcome. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. And I don't escalate discussions online or in person interactions in that way ever.

I won't be responding to you further.

Ok, first I am not ignoring the victim-survivor, let's get that straight.  I am landing the blame on the individual rather than an entire organization.  The problem with what you are doing is you are rubber stamping without asking questions or holding appropriate parties responsible.  Also, this is why there needs to be an investigation into it before just rushing this person/org off the hangman like you are entirely too ready to do.  The worst outcome is ALWAYS when the innocent are convicted without due process.  Surely you can see the wisdom of that, right?  Let the victim have their day in court and the accused their day as well.  I get you are a survivor and bless you for being there for people that need you.  But, in your zeal or crusade for survivors don't let possibly innocent people or organizations get crushed without ANY sort of say.  That's not fair to anyone.

 

I wouldn't expect you to respond.  Just don't get locked into hammer mode.  

[MandarinMom]

2 minutes ago, Mello Dude said:

Ok, first I am not ignoring the victim-survivor, let's get that straight.  I am landing the blame on the individual rather than an entire organization.  The problem with what you are doing is you are rubber stamping without asking questions or holding appropriate parties responsible.  Also, this is why there needs to be an investigation into it before just rushing this person/org off the hangman like you are entirely too ready to do.  The worst outcome is ALWAYS when the innocent are convicted without due process.  Surely you can see the wisdom of that, right?  Let the victim have their day in court and the accused their day as well.  I get you are a survivor and bless you for being there for people that need you.  But, in your zeal or crusade for survivors don't let possibly innocent people or organizations get crushed without ANY sort of say.  That's not fair to anyone.

 

I wouldn't expect you to respond.  Just don't get locked into hammer mode.  

My issue with what you said is that you expect the victim to have evidence. Sexual assault does not always produce evidence of a nonconsensual act. Even when it does, the victim does not always speak out right away. This is why many survivors don't speak up.

[Den8uml]

Wow this is a sad situation. The two things that should happen right now:

1. Those in charge and investigating along with peers need to provide judgement free support to the victim

2. All of us on here should not try to weigh in on what we think happened/ should happen, since we don’t know enough information and we are not the ones handling it. It’s not a score or a caption award open to analysis and back and forth argument. 
 

[BlueStainGlass]

1 hour ago, MandarinMom said:

I really feel for the victim. I hope she is able to heal from the trauma.

I just want to point a few things out about using hotels for finals. I live in Indiana, and by the time finals come around, schools are already back in session, so finding schools with the ability to host all of those corps is nearly impossible. Giving each member their own hotel room is cost prohibitive, especially these days when drum corps is so expensive.

As far as the single gender rooms, I think a lot of you need to remember that there are many people of various gender identities and sexualities. Marching band has been a safe haven for many, and I think the proportion may be even higher than the general population. I don't have all of the answers. I just know it is all so complicated.

I learned you can't make everyone happy. You do what is best for the members you have parents complain. You force kids into gendered rooms that goes against everything you told them all season being inclusive and they get hurt. Luckily I had a mom that sat every kid down and talked with them explaining both situations and worked out what works best for them.